As part of my job (as Youth Pastor), I am expected to spend time pursuing my relationship with Christ in a way that keeps me in a place to lead others in their relationship. With school, work, family and more, I have not always done the best over the last few years. I am not proud of this, but have consistently made an effort to improve this whole sitatuation.
This past month my lead pastor asked me to take a spiritual retreat, on which I was to spend considerable time seeking out God through scripture, prayer, and solitude. In the past, the prospect of spending many hours alone and with only my bible was intimidating to say the least. Well, not much had changed for me as I headed north last thurs. to have a spiritual retreat at Timber Bay Camp. However, after participating in this type of discipline, I have committed to practice a day of solitude each month.
I began the day by building a fire and reading through the four gospel accounts of Jesus's arrest, trial and crucifixion. I journaled my thoughts about those descriptions and then I began to journal my prayers for family, friends, church ect... Then I just sat in silence for a while. Finally, I bundled up and went for an hour and a half hike.
At the beginning of this hike, I just said to God, "Okay, I am listening talked to me as I walk." I half expected to have a huge God moment where he reveals something profound to me. Part of me sort of thought he might even speak to me audibly. I don't know why, but I just wanted to meet God in those woods. As I walked, nothing profound came to me. God did not speak to me audibly or otherwise. He did not speak to me really at all. What happened in those woods, though, was quite profound for me. I had this unconcious, but keen awareness that I was walking with the Creator. It was like two friends who know each other so well, they can really enjoy just walking silently together. It was like two people who are so close they can communicate profound love and respect through just being present together. I took a walk with God last week and it changed me. I am still me, I still am weak, but the peace that I have experienced is amazing. To practice solitude and the presence of God has become a very real and valued discipline to me in my journey. I recommend it with all my heart. May God bless and keep you this day and into the future!