The Journey

Five Minute Friday...Moving On

2011-08-12T10:42:00.001-05:00

Sorry I did not write last couple of Friday's. It's been a busy time and I didn't honor my commitment to write at least every Friday. Anyways....

Our house Sold! It's not over until we close according to our Realtor, but the bank and the buyer have come to an agreement, so we are free (if everything goes as planned). Now the stress of packing everything up and moving. Where to? You ask! Well, right now we are moving in with some really close friends from church in Monticello. However, there are some possibilities on jobs for me other places....like other states. Yikes! A little apprehensive about that. We are praying for God to lead us to where he wants us, but we really hope that is Monticello with our friends. But that is not really how it works when you place your whole life in His hands. We don't get to pick. So, we are waiting for guidance (and using the brain and experiences He has given us) to make a wise decision about our future. If you want to pray with us about that, we would really appreciate it. We know that God has plans for our little family and we have great faith in Him to carry out those plans in ways we could never imagine, but we do covet your prayers! Now off to finish a sermon, watch kids, and get ready to move. Not a boring day, that is for sure! See ya next Friday.

Trying something new.....five minute fridays.

2011-07-22T13:37:00.002-05:00

Pre-five minute explanation. I have been inspired by a friend of my wife's to try some new things with my blog that I have neglected for so long! So, one of the things she does that I like is five minute fridays. I thought I would give it a try since I am home on fridays and since it only takes five minutes. That way, I keep something up here, but it doesn't take a long time out of my day.

Here goes....

Trust has been a big theme in my family's life recently. I have finally finished school for good and now we are trying to figure out life. We are selling our house and we will have nothing except for my wife's job and some lovely friendships holding us in this part of the country. If God wanted to take us somewhere different or use us in some crazy way, we will be freer now than we have been in a while. Yet, the idea of being open to that call or that journey strikes fear in us much of the time. We hold on to things like friendship and family, the familiarity of our church and our community. We also fear because so far my employment opportunities are bleak. I am employed with a wonderful company who is great to their employees, but the job just doesn't work for us. So, we trust.....we obey and we trust. It has worked in the past and even though this trial seems to be lasting longer than we planned, we must obey and trust. God has been gracious along the way to remind us he is with us on this journey, so that we are thankful for, but we could use prayers as we trust and obey!

That went fast! See you next Friday.

Spring, Flip Flops and Some Relief!

2011-04-05T13:55:00.004-05:00

I guess my lack of updating this blog says something about the past few months. They have been the most intense that I have experience in my life. Dealing with loss, attempting to do well at school, work, home, church......... So, some things (i.e. this blog) were left undone. Yet, in the intensity that this last quarter was, I had a profound sense of calm, which is really not normal for me. I guess after seven years of school, I should finally be figuring out how to handle it all! Well, some of the highlights of winter for the Torkelson clan was celebrating Makai's first birthday, the huge amounts of snow in MN, a trip to Colorado, and some fun family days at the MOA or at home. I can't believe our baby boy is one! He is such an amazing kid with a great sense of humor. He is really trying to talk and loves to give everyone hugs and kisses. Zaila is going to be three this week, which I think makes me choke more than Mak being one. She is actually three going on 13! She has a ton to say at all times and loves to do art, play outside and take care of her babies. She has said some of the craziest things lately. The latest is that Michael Buble loves her. Apparently all the songs he sings about love are aimed directly at my daughter???? Mesha and I took a trip to Colorado in Feb. to attend a friend's wedding. It was good to spend some time away from the kids and we really enjoyed the wedding. It was up in the mountains and was incredibly beautiful. We are glad that Spring has finally sprung here in MN! By the time March ends, I am always more than ready to see the snow go and the green to return. The kids have been eager as well and they sneak outside any chance they get. Zaila has also begun to insist on wearing flip flops any chance she gets. We are really looking forward to this summer when we get to ride bikes, go to parks and have picnics. We are also really looking forward to this summer because I will finally be done with school forever! And yes, I mean it this time. I graduate with my Post-Grad. Certificate in Marriage and Family Therapy in June. Then it is on to finding work and studying for the big National Licensing Exam! I am not sure we will know what to do with ourselves, especially as fall hits and I don't return to school. Hope all is well and I will try (and maybe will fail) to keep this updated....that is if anyone actually reads it. ;)

Not our idea of a good week

2010-12-13T22:54:00.001-06:00

Last week was not our idea of a good week. For those who didn't know, we had a surprise pregnancy that we discovered on Nov. 29th. We were not planning to have any other biological children because of the difficulties that Mesha experiences during pregnancy. However, after the initial shock and initial concern, we were extremely excited to be having our third child that we always wanted. Last Monday, Dec. 6th, the emotional rollercoaster continued for us. Mesha suddenly experienced intense abdominal pain in the morning as she got ready. She quickly left for the ER as I took care of the kids. She didn't make it, pulling over and calling an ambulance because she was going to pass out. After getting to the ER and receiving an ultra sound, and after I finally made it over to the ER, we found out that Mesha had a tubal pregnancy and that she was bleeding internally pretty severely. She was in surgery with in half an hour of our initial consultation with the OB doc. The surgery went really well and Mesha was home by about 5pm that evening.
We were extremely sad about the loss we experienced and have been doing a lot of processing over the past week. We have experience a ton of love and support from our friends and family and really feel blessed at the blessing that those around us have been. We also want people to know that while we have mourned the loss of this pregnancy and the missed opportunity to hold our third child and watch it grow and all that goes with it, we are praising God for his strong presence and protection of Mesha. The Doc. explained that Mesha was bleeding profusely and that she would have certainly died at other times in history.
Praise God for protecting my wife. Praise God for showing us his grace through this painful experience. Praise God for friends who listen and say the right things at the right times.

Fall pics

2010-12-13T22:43:00.000-06:00

We had a family picture session with Jen Good, our sister-in-law, who is amazingly talented. Here are some of the results. We are thrilled with them. I can't believe how cute my kids are! Sorry, I know I am biased, but they are cuties! Not to mention the most beautiful girl holding them!

Mak will already be 1 on Christmas day! He is so funny and interacts with us so much it's crazy.

This girl scares me, she is so beautiful. I can definitely wait for her to grow up! She is going to give me ulcers as she goes out into this world. She is also extremely sweet, often telling her mom or me "I am here." "I'll hold you." to her mom or me when we are upset.

Torkelson_family002.jpg

2010-05-04T12:59:00.001-05:00

Click here to view these pictures larger

I wanna bite it!

2010-05-03T10:12:00.000-05:00

So, I am loving this past month or so with my daughter, Z. She has gotten to the stage of life where she understands so much and can say so much, but still has the simple mind of a two year, which makes for some very funny conversations. The other night, I was in the process of getting her ready for bed and we were cuddling on the couch when she suddenly decided she wanted to see the bunny that is often eating outside our back windows. She ran to the window to see if the bunny was indulging itself at the moment only to be dissapointed at its absence. Here is the following conversation...

Zaila - Awww, where did the bunny go?

Me - It must be done eating and went home.

Z - Daddy, I wanna see a bunny (as if I can magically make a bunny appear)

Me- I know you do Z, but the bunny went home.

Z- Repeats the above with more intensity.

Me- Honey, I am sorry, but I can't make the bunny come out to eat....Daddy's can't make bunnies do things like that.

At this point, I join her at the back window to see what was out there.

Z- (noticed some tulips that are full bloom at the house behind ours)....Look Daddy, flowers!

Me- Yeah, they're pretty aren't they?

Z- Yeah, pretty flowers! I wanna eat them!!!

Me- What?

Z- I wanna eat them....flowers!

Me - Well, there are some flowers you can eat, but I don't think those flowers are the kind you can eat. Besides we can't eat those flowers because they are not ours. Our neighbors would be sad if we ate their flowers. (I know, your thinking way to logical for a two year old, but you don't know Z)

Z- Okay, daddy. Trees!!!!

Me- Yeah, there are trees out there too, huh?

Z- They are coming out. (referring to the leaves coming out.)

Me- Yeah, the leaves are out now aren't they.

Z- I wann bite it, tree!!!

Me - What?

Z- I wanna bite it, tree! That one.....I wanna bite it!!!!

Me- I don't know if it is a good idea to bite the tree, Z.

Z - I wanna bite it! I wanna eat it, tree!

Me- I think the tree would be sad if you bit it....why do you want to bite the tree?

Z - I wanna bite it, tree!!!!!!!! (Even more determined)

At this point all logic, manipulation, distraction could not get Zaila off the topic of biting the tree. So, we put her to bed. So fun to have that time with her this week.

"I wanna hold it"

2010-04-26T14:49:00.000-05:00

So again, I have to say that I absolutely love being the dad of a two year old (yes, there are times, I would take this statement back in a heart beat, but then things like the following happen to snap me back to reality).

Conversation in the car last night....

Zaila - Mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy......

Mesha- Yes Zaila....Zaila.... Look at me Zaila, I am answering you (at which point Zaila actually notices that Mom is now paying attention to her) Can you say excuse me mommy, your dad and I were talking?

Zaila - Excusy me mommy!

Mesha - Yes Zaila

Zaila - I wanna hold it....I wanna hold it.....I wanna hold it......

Mesha - What do you want to hold?

Zaila - I wanna hold it, moon!

Mesha - Oh, wow, I bet you do want to hold the moon, but it is way to for up in the sky for you to reach it.

Zaila - (Makes noises as though she is trying her hardest to reach the moon)

Mesha- Do you know who goes to the moon and can touch it? Astronauts! They fly all the way up there and touch the moon.

Zaila- I wanna fly and hold it, moon! (Makes reaching noises again!)

I love the way her mind is so innocent and desires so pure. She sees the moon as this small ball like thing she could hold if she just could reach it. Of course, when you can't reach something, you tell mom and dad and they get it for you to hold! Just a fun time in the car on the way back from Small Group!

From the mouths of babes!

2010-03-30T09:15:00.000-05:00

My daughter will be two years old in a week, which is its own post because I can't believe its been two whole years since her birth. Anyways, she is very perceptive adn verbal for her age and understands that when something hurts on your body, you need a kiss from Mom or Dad for it to feel better.
The other day, I was changing her diaper and we were talking about about the size of her BM (yes, she brags about the size of her BMs...not sure where she got that?) Anyways, as we were carrying on with the changing of the diaper, her bum began to hurt. Here is how the conversation went:

Zaila: Owie, butt! Owie, butt!

Dad: Oh, does your butt hurt?

Zaila: Yeah, Kiss it!

Dad: (with a chuckle) Sorry, hunny, I know we kiss your owies, but we don't kiss butts.

Zaila: Crying a little, Owie, butt, kiss it, better.

Dad: I just can't kiss your butt.

Zaila: (with renewed hope) Lotion?!

Dad: Now that we can do.

Zaila: (As I am applying oitment to the affected area) Blow on it!

The things that little kids say and do! I had a good laugh that day.

More pics!

2009-12-26T22:24:00.000-06:00

Here are a few more pics of Makai. We are doing well, but are tired. I didn't forget this part of having a new baby, sometimes difficult, but totally worth it. He is so awesome and I just can't get over how precious he is! Here are those pics...

He's here!!!!

2009-12-25T22:40:00.001-06:00

We are both feeling blessed and in awe tonight as we reflect on the events of the past twenty four hours. Mesha has had a very difficult pregnancy ranging from hyper emisis (puking a lot), to severe kidney infection, to pre-term labor! So, when she went off the medicine that was supposedly keeping her from going into labor at 36 weeks we assumed we would have a baby. Well, that did not happen and after a few hard weeks of extremely painful muscle spasms and intermitent sleepless nights, Mesha was ready to be done. On Monday of this week our doctor set us up for an induction for next Monday the 28th, but as you probably already know or have guessed, we didn't make it to Monday. Last night, while hanging out with some friends, Mesha's water broke and we were off to the races...or I guess just the hospital. We were both in utter shock, so if it weren't for Bob and Juamil Lezer staying calm and helping us get out the door, I am not sure what we would have done. We braved the snowy conditions and made it slowly to the hospital. This morning at 10:47, Makai Colin Torkelson was born...a Christmas baby! We would never have guessed that this would happen and are in complete amazement as we stare at our beautiful little boy! Thank you Jesus for coming so long ago and thank you Jesus for the blessing of Makai on the day that we celebrate your birth!

Our Little Man

Proud Parents!

Sticking out his little tongue!

Long awaited update

2009-12-02T15:05:00.000-06:00

Not sure anyone out there follows this blog anyways, but I thought I would make a fall 2009 update. For those of you who don't know, I am back in school. Yes, I, the one who vowed never to return to school after graduating last Spring, made it a whole three months before going back! Blah. I sometimes pinch myself and wonder what the heck I am doing, but feel generally feel that it was the right decision. I am back at Bethel Seminary for Marriage and Family Therapy. My plan is to become a licensed Therapist following graduation. Maybe this will be the career I can stick with!

As far as the rest of the family they are doing fairly well. Zaila is almost 20 months now and is growing up fast. She is talking away and surprising us all the time with what she understands and how much she wants to copy mom and dad. The other day I got her up in the morning and she asked for her mommy. I told her mommy was gone. Immediately she nods her head and says, "mommy's at work!" I had no idea that she could figure that out on her own! She loves to play "mommy" with her doll and take walks. She also loves to "color" and many morings sits on the couch eating cereal out of the box and watching "TB". She is really becoming a little girl.

In other amazing news about Z, she has gone potty on her potty chair at least 3 times this fall. We are not toilet training her, yet, with her being so young and the other baby on the way, but every once in a while she wants to sit on the potty chair and has "gone" three times. Its amazing how fast they grow up! Here's a pic from a photo shoot this summer:

Mesha is doing alright these days. She has had a lot of issues with this pregnancy and is looking forward to having our little boy with us, so she can be done. She says, she doesn't understand how other women like being pregnant. She doesn't like being pregnant at all, but definitely loves the outcome and can't wait to meet her new little one! We have had a struggle coming up with boy names, but think we are pretty close, which is good because on one of the issues Mesha has had is a couple bouts with pre-term labor and she is scheduled to go off her meds next weekend, so we may have a new little guy sooner than expected. Of course, with Mesha's luck, she will just have the painful contractions she has been having for the past month for another month, only she won't have medicine to stop them! Let's pray that is not the case. Well, I am going to try to keep this up to date now, so if you have followed in the past and haven't totally given up on me, I'll try to keep it going!

She's One!

2009-04-08T10:08:00.000-05:00

Zaila turned one yesterday! I can't believe its been a year already since she was born. It went so fast for us and we had a little time of mourning yesterday as we thought about our little baby growing up already. I guess it is not surprising that it went so fast because I don't even remember the first few months of her life. It is amazing, though, how fast we adapt to being parents and how quickly a routine develops. It has been an incredible first year as a parent.

Saturday we had a great birthday party for Zaila with our immediate families. Zaila was such a ham and it was a great day of celebrating and enjoying family. Zaila cooperated by digging right in to her cup cake and getting it all over her face, but not so much in her hair. She loved all her gifts and has been playing with them a lot. Even the ones that we anticipated would be more summer or fall toys she is insisting on using now. She has really had a lot of firsts in the last week. It is as if she knew she was one and would start doing a ton. She is walking much more and even running when she is really excited and not thinking about what she is doing. She will bark and moo when asked what dogs and cows say. She blows kisses and claps a lot (for herself of course). Finally, she drinks by herself out of a sippy cup. I may have missed some new firsts, but there are so many these days it is hard to keep track.

Here are some pics from the part....enjoy!

Zaila stuffing her face with a Monkey Cupcake!

Messy Face!!!

Opening presents with Rachel and Sammy (her cousins)

Don't know what this is about, but Mesha said she looks like me here.

(I hope that doesn't reflect how I look all the time, but I have been in Seminary for Five years!)

She's Walking!

2009-03-18T13:58:00.000-05:00

Just a quick little update. Zaila is now eleven and a half months old and is doing a ton of new things. She is pointing at everything and cannot stop saying "Ball." Maybe we will have a little athelete on our hands. She also loves to turn on her "boom box," crank the sound (yes she turns it up on her own) and dance her little heart out. She is waving "hi" and "bye, bye" upon request. Also, she is giving hugs and kisses upon request (but still only when she is in the mood). Finally, she has gotten very attached to two stuffed monkeys named "monkey" and "deeds" (she named this one???) and will look for them first thing in the morning and carry them around hugging and kissing them all day long.

And the big news.....Yes! Zaila took her first few steps on Monday night. She was staring at the TV at the house of one of Mesha's friends and took three steps without realizing it. Later that night, I was holding her up and then she just took off for mom and walked about four steps. We haven't seen her do it since, but I am sure she will walk again soon!!!!

I can't believe that she is almost 1 already. Time flies when you get older, but it really flies when you have a kid.

Here's a couple more recent pics:

Daddy's girl!

2009-01-05T12:23:00.000-06:00

So, Zaila has always been a bit of a Daddy's girl. It is probably because I have taken care of her during the day three days a week since she was 3 months old. While she goes through her different phases, like preferring her mother during the Christmas season, she will always be my little Daddy's girl. She made me a proud papa the other day by downing a large portion of a veggie (mom's influence) burrito at Chipotle! We are putting that in the Baby book. Baby's first Chipotle. She may prefer her mother right now, but she makes her Daddy proud!!!
Other news on the Zaila front. She has four teeth, is saying Momma, Dadda, up, ball, all done (sometimes), hi dad, and bye bye (again, only when she decides to grace us with this). She has begun to walk by holding on to our hands and is pretty confident in her standing, even forgetting that she is holding on to the coffee table and standing for a few seconds on her before realizing it and grabbing back on! Hope everyone had a great holiday! God bless in the New Year.

It's been a while!

2008-12-12T08:12:00.000-06:00

Sorry, it has been a while. Mesha and I went to Colorado in early November for a much needed Vacation. We brought Z and all of had a great time. Some of the hilights included a Wild game in Denver (Wild won!!), all my family working together to surprise me with the fact that my cousin Kent was home from Iraq during my visit (I haven't seen him in ten years or so), walking around Estes Park with my family, and relaxing in an incredible hotel room. We had a great time and I'll have to post pics up here soon.
I can't believe it is the middle of December already. It is pretty crazy how time flies. Speaking of that, Zaila is growing up way too fast. She has been crawling since right about the time we went to Colorado and also popped her first two teeth. The first one came while we were in Colorado and we didn't even notice it until Z bit Mesha on the last morning during Breakfast. At first, Mesha thought Z had something sharp stuck in her gums, like something she had gotten a hold of and bit, getting it stuck in her gums. When we looked, we found a tooth! She is also saying momma, Dadda, up, ball, and waves and says ba ba, which is Zaila for Bye Bye. I keep telling her to relax and stay a little baby for a while, so Dad can enjoy her. She doesn't listen to me!
Well, that's all for now. I'll try to be better about updating!

Fall at the Orchard!

2008-10-29T11:19:00.000-05:00

Zaila is now 6 and a half months old and growing fast. We just went to the doctors office and found out that she is 28 inches long! She is 90-95% in all areas. She crawled a little today, but is still mostly just scooting. However, she gets wherever she wants and pretty quickly if she is motivated. She has her first word down too. She says "Momma" very clearly and is working on a garbled "dadda." She is such a joy and is so nice to everyone she meets. She smiles and almost encourages people through her interaction with them. It is pretty cool to see her brighton even strangers' days.

A couple of Saturdays ago, we went to the local Apple Orchard and Zaila's Auntie Jen took pictures of her with her cousin Andrew, us and Mesha's parents. It was a lot of fun! Here is a sample...

She's already 5 months!

2008-09-12T10:55:00.000-05:00

Well, Zaila was 5 months last Sunday and I only just got 4 month pictures up here. I am definitely falling behind. I will try to add some new pics soon. At least, before the big 6 month mark. She is doing extremely well. She continues to sleep a long time at night (like 10 hours!!!!). She has a pretty set schedule, but can adapt pretty well with ours too! She is rolling over both directions and is becoming somewhat mobile because of this new ability. A couple weeks ago, she decided she could pull herself to standing when holding on to her grandpa's fingers. (Crazy!) She can sit up with her hands on the floor to brace herself. And, she has started rice cereal. I was sitting with her the other day and she started trying to pull herself up on the coffee table. (She was unsuccessful) I immediately sat her down and gave her a talk about taking her time and being patient. She just smiled her big toothless smile as if to say..."Dad, don't worry, I'll always be your little girl." Oh, I almost forgot. She is saying momma, too!!! My baby is saying her first word! What the heck?
Mesha and I are doing well. We are both really busy with the fall kick offs and stuff for youth. Mesha is still working at the county even though most of those she was friends with there have moved on to bigger and better things. She works hard and has been told that she should be in management! She is definetly good at what she does!
I am starting my final year of Seminary in a week!!!! I can't wait to be done and this time, I actually can see the light at the end of the tunnel. I am supposed to be working on some papers right now. They'll get done and this year should be over before I know it. That will be great. Mark my words. NO MORE SCHOOL after this point! Have a great weekend!

4 month pics of Z

2008-08-29T16:28:00.000-05:00

Here are a sample of some of the latest pics of Zaila. She is rolling over, grabbing her feet and for a while had an obsession with sticking out her tongue, which her auntie caught on camera! There are so many cute ones that this will need to be a series of posts, so more to come!!

New Pics. I know its been way too long!

2008-08-22T15:25:00.001-05:00

Here is newer pics of Z!

More Pics!

2008-06-04T16:28:00.000-05:00

Here are more pics of my beautiful baby daughter! She is awesome. My favorite time is when we all wake up in the morning. She loves to smile at us with a huge, open mouth, toothless grin and try to giggle, which comes out as a grunt. These pics were taken a while back, but are really cool.

Reflections on Parenthood

2008-05-15T20:53:00.001-05:00

I wrote what is below as a journal entry that is required for one of my classes. I actually liked what I wrote, so I thought I would share my thoughts with you all.

In previous posts, I have mentioned that I recently became a father and wrote specifically about fatherhood and what that has meant in terms of my image of God and gender. Tonight, I thought I would broaden that discussion to the idea of parenthood and how my limited experience with it has influenced my image of God and how image of God has influenced me as a parent. First of all, having a child has been one of the most amazing and life changing experiences of my entire life. It has had an affect on every area of my life, including sleep, schedule, my relationship with my wife and my relationship with God. As my daughter was born, I was not only excited and praising God for a healthy baby, but I was experiencing God in a new light. That experience continues as I speak because I do not think that I have had any where near enough time as a parent to feel that this experience can be complete. However, what I have experienced as a parent has changed my image of God. It has not so much changed it from one image to another, but has qualitatively increased my capacity to understand God at certain levels. In other words, becoming a parent has given me a glimpse, skewed as it may be, of God's view of His children. I could not believe that one moment my child was a bump in my wife's stomach and a dream in my heart and the next moment she was in my arms. I could not fathom the reality that, in an instant, I began to love someone I just met so intensely that I was willing to die for her. Though this love is intense and incredible, I had to step back and realize that my love for Zaila is flawed simply because I am human. I realized that, although my love for Zaila was incredible, it is nothing compared to the love of God the Father. I understood, not perfectly, but at a knew level what it means to be loved by God. My image of a loving father was not replaced with another image, but was made more clear through becoming a parent.
Another aspect of that first day with Zaila, was a genuine realization of the responsibility that I just accepted as a new father. I reflected that day on what I wrote above and not only realized God's love on a new level, but realized the incredible standard He sets as a father. I know God to be a tender loving being that has incredible grace and patience with His children. I also know God to be a just being that lovingly disciplines His children with the purpose of seeing them prosper. This balance of justice, love, and discipline is in perfect harmony working to make us joyful, fulfilled, human beings. This I realize is my standard and it is down right frightening. Anyone can clothe, feed, and physically protect a baby, but how do you raise a child that is emotionally, spiritually and physically healthy? My image of God as a loving and just father will need to be my guide and the fact that I see him as my example will be my motivation. I will pray often and ask for forgiveness often. I will seek to follow God's example, but will, ultimately, lay the life and soul of my daughter in His hands and point to Him as her perfect father.

"She is made well!"

2008-04-22T19:30:00.000-05:00

This is a quote from the Radiologist. Zaila has no physical abnormalities, so we are pretty sure she is allergic/sensitive to cow's milk. This makes a lot of sense because both Mesha and myself had a lot of trouble with cow's milk as babies and young children. So...Mesha is trying a dairy free diet and continue nursing. If this doesn't work out, then we try formula. We are definitely pleased that Zaila is "made well," but we have a difficult decision before us. We obviously want the best for our daughter (our opinion is that nursing is best), but living dairy free for a year may be a little more than we can handle. Pray wisdom for us in the first of many difficult decisions that parents have to make. We are so thankful for Zaila and feel blessed to be burdened with these type of decisions because it means we have a daughter to love and care about. We are totally head over heals about this pretty little girl! Thanks for all the prayers and all the support!

More Pics of my beautiful daughter!

2008-04-21T20:17:00.000-05:00

This weekend was rough. It began on Saturday morning, when Mesha was desperately calling for me in our room. Zaila had thrown up all over herself. This was not the normal baby spit-up, but was full on throw up. We called the clinic and were quickly on our way to ready care at our clinic. They checked her out and sent us on to Children's Hospital for some tests. After a five hour stint at the hospital, where they wouldn't allow us to feed Zaila, we were on our way with the answers we wanted to here. It seemed that Zaila was fine. Then....Sunday night as we were getting ready to head up for bed, Zaila began projectile vomiting. It was even more stuff than Sat., so this morning we headed to the clinic again. Tomorrow brings more tests to make sure there isn't a physical problem with Zaila's system. Then, if that turns up fine, we move to allergies and sensitivities. We may be looking at feeding our daughter hyperallergenic formula, which is also known as liquid diamonds or liquid gold. Pray for us as we figure this stuff out.

Here's the pics:

This last one is Zaila with her cousin Andrew Good, who is twelve or thirteen weeks older than her. Quite a difference in size!

More Pics

2008-04-16T12:46:00.000-05:00

Here are some more pictures of Zaila. Everyone is tired (except Zaila), but doing really well. My new favorite past time is ....watching Zaila. I could sit and just watch her all day long. It is so cool to be a dad! Here are some pictures that my sister-in-law Jen took of Zaila last Sunday at our neices birthday party. She is the daughter of a pastor, so these should surprise anyone.

The promised pics....more to come!

2008-04-08T23:55:00.001-05:00

Zaila Jane Torkelson is here

2008-04-07T23:02:00.000-05:00

Mesha delivered a healthy baby girl at 6:18pm tonight. She is 7 pounds 8 ounces and 20 1/2 inches long. Her head circumference is 13 1/2 (inches or cm???? I think inches???) Anyway, she is amazing and (though, I know I am biased) she is the most beautiful baby girl I have seen. She has some blond and red hair. She was wide awake until like 10:45pm. Now she is sleeping peacefully in her mother's arms.

I don't think words have ever failed me before in my life. I am a talker and a writer, but this experience is one that words cannot express. The beauty and amazement of having a child is indescribable. I love someone I just met four hours ago more than I can tell you. I would die for her in an instant and I just met her. Amazing stuff. I'll keep posting. Thanks for all the prayers.

By the way, I'll try to post some pics tomorrow. I forgot the card reader. (Got everything together last week, but I forgot that. Duh)

Okay, everything is better now!

2008-04-07T14:32:00.000-05:00

Mesha was dialated to a 5, so they broke her water. That's when all H.... broke loose! Not really, but it seemed like it for a couple of minutes. Mesha was very decisive at this point about an epidural (sp?). They put the epidural in and she is a new woman!!! She is now at a 6 and 90% effaced. We'll see what the next milestone is! Again, thanks for the prayers.

She's progressing

2008-04-07T12:45:00.000-05:00

Mesha was at a 4 about a half hour ago. She is progressing nicely. Things are getting much more intense, with long contractions coming almost right on top of each other. She is doing awesome. What a champ! I am not sure how often I will be able to update, but I think it will be later afternoon or evening before baby actually comes. Thanks for all the prayers and well wishes.

Here we go!!!

2008-04-07T09:48:00.000-05:00

We are at the hopital and getting going. We came at 7:30am for a scheduled induction and they got things going at about 9am. Mesha is doing great. Her contractions are coming pretty regularly already. The doctor said that they will do Pitosin for about two hours and then break her water, if things are going as fast as he would like. He said delivery could be anywhere from 2pm to 10pm. Let's hope for the first!!! Pray that Mesha has strength and that it is not a super long labor. I have internet in the room, so I'll update whenever something is happening and I get a chance.

And...we're still waiting!

2008-04-05T15:53:00.000-05:00

Nothing, yet! We are sick of waiting, but an end is in sight. We are guessing that our baby will be born sometime on Monday as Mesha will be induced. This has been an annoying week, but we are soooooo excited to meet our little one. Also, on the plus side. A group from our church has been on a Missions trip this week and they are returning Monday night. That means they will be able to see our baby when it is still only a couple days old! Got to keep our eyes on the blessings, not on the waiting!

Overdue and still waiting....

2008-04-02T13:55:00.000-05:00

Not a big deal really to be overdue, just that I convinced myself that I would be overdue from the beginning until the last three visits to the doctor's office led us to believe we wouldn't have to wait that long. They all got so excited with the "progress" that I had made and stated things like "you for sure will not need to think about being overdue." Yesterday we scheduled for induction next Monday. I know, I know there are a lot of opinions about being induced and trust me, I have them too...but as a nurse working postpartum for a while I just am uncomfortable with being 2 weeks overdue (seen enough to sway me). So, now that we have the date, we are still trying not to get too pumped up since it is possible that I could get bumped off the schedule if they are busy. If you think of us and want to pray I would love to just go in on my own and not be induced...we are just dying to meet this little one!

On the other hand it makes me think about how God must feel about wanting his people to be with him, just as I feel about wanting this baby to be with us...pretty cool.

-Mesha

Still......Nothing!!!!

2008-03-26T11:20:00.000-05:00

So, we went to the doctor last night thinking that Mesha would have progressed to the point that they would break her water and get this thing going, but alas, we were disappointed again. After getting hyped up by the doctor last week and being told she might be induced this morning if her progress was in a particular place, we were told they wouldn't break her water until a week after her due date by the doctor last night. However, last night's doctor did do one thing for us. She stripped Mesha's membranes, which could put her into labor in the next couple of days. When she was examining Mesha, the doctor did decide it would be a good idea to tell us that she thought this would work for sure. I am not a believer any more. Last week the doctor made us think this thing would happen soon and here we are still, so I am not buying this latest doctors promises either. When the baby comes, the baby comes. That is all there is to it. I will say this, though, I can't wait for the baby to come. I am not made for this part of the pregnancy. I can't stand knowing it could be at any time and then have the seconds, hours, days, and weeks tick by. It is like life just went into slow motion and I can't stand it!

Nothing Yet!

2008-03-24T19:58:00.000-05:00

We went to the doctor last Tues. and he got us all excited for having the baby early. He said Mesha was progressing a lot and gave us the feeling taht it could happen this weekend. And, yet, nothing has happened! We have had a couple of false alarms, but nothing is real labor. So, we'll see what they say tomorrow at the doctor. The doctor last week suggested that they may break Mesha's water on Wed. morning if she had progressed from last week. I am going crazy just waiting around for her to go into labor. I am going crazy! Pray for us as we wait.

AHHHHHHHHHHH!

2008-03-10T19:55:00.000-05:00

We have officially hit full term!!!!!! 37 weeks, I guess, is concidered full term. So, it could be "any day." I was just talking to a woman from a seminary class the vomits every time she needs to speak in front of others. I think I might puke every time I am going to have a child!!!! I am getting a little nervous. I mean I am definitely very excited, but I am also scared out of my wits. I don't feel old enough to be a dad. Ok, enough with the age jokes, I know you are thinking them!!!! Anyway, we will keep you posted. Pray for Mesha, she is ready to be done being pregnant, like yesterday.

In other baby news, Mesha had a shower put on by her sister and sister-in-laws and we were totally blessed with a bunch of stuff we need. From what I here, it was an incredilbe event, so thank you so much to Jen Good, Jenny (Mesha's sister), and Nikki Good, and Paula Good (Mesha's mother). Mesha felt so blessed and overwhelmed with love.

Its getting closer!

2008-02-08T11:39:00.000-06:00

Mesha is now almost 33 weeks and that means we are less than two months away from a baby. Yikes!!!! I am not ready, yet! Can't we wait a little longer? Ok, I know that it is a rediculous response and yes I am terribly excited to meet our little one, but now that it is looming in the very near future, it is freaking me out a little bit. It doesn't help that I hung out with my brother-in-law last night that has one less than a month old and is telling me that I will never sleep again. So, pray for me because school, work, and a baby seems a little overwhelming at the moment.
Mesha is doing well and probably is beginning to have the opposite feelings that I expressed above. She is actually feeling really well, but is probably ready to get this thing out of her. We were at the doctor this week and he asked if we were having a girl when he finished listening to the heart beat. (We haven't seen this doctor in our group very much, so he didn't know we tried to find out, but couldn't) When we explained the situation and told we didn't know, first he thought that was great and then he said that his guess was girl according to the heart rate. I would be terribly excited if he is right. For some reason I really want a girl first. However, we all know I am going to be goo goo over boy or girl, so it really doesn't matter. Hope y'all are doing great out there!

When does it all slow down?

2008-01-23T16:33:00.000-06:00

I can't believe we are now at the end of January and looking at February right around the corner. I feel like life just keeps speeding up! I had two retreats over the past several weeks and I am back in school, too, so it seems that I have been constantly doing something. Sleep has felt like just part of the schedule lately. Yet, I have really enjoyed most of what I have been up to lately. Running our first all youth winter retreat was hectic, but so fun and being able to speak at a friends retreat at my old stomping grounds Covenant Pines Bible Camp was even a greater blessing. The retreat was originally scheduled to be at a camp on the Gunflint Trail, but was moved because of scheduling conflicts. I grew up attending Covenant Pines and worked there for six years during and post college. To top it off, my best friend and his family were up there for their churches winter retreat and I was able to hang out with them quite a bit in between speaking sessions. God blesses us in so many ways big and small. I think the past several weeks I have realized that some of the seemingly small blessings can end up being life bringing, extrodinary blessings.
Mesha is doing well and showing quite a bit now. We only have about 9 1/2 weeks until the due date! Talk about time flying. I have a lot to get done before this little one graces us with its presence. We are more confident that it is a girl because our baby's cousin was born a little over a week ago and it was a boy. Our extended family is convinced they will be different sexes so that leaves us with a girl. I guess that is not good logic, but when you don't know, you come up with crazy theories! We'll see.

It's been a great year!

2007-12-31T15:52:00.000-06:00

Hey, I am finally back to internet access after the holidays. Mesha and I had a busy, but great Christmas and are looking forward to a night with friends for New Years and one last day together tomorrow to begin the process of finishing the baby's room.
Someone once told me that everything changes when you have a kid. Well, I would only change one small aspect of that quip. Everything changes as soon as you are pregnant with a kid. Last Wed. night, we sold my Montero and this weekend pick up our new vehicle. I know a lot of you think I am going to say we got a mini-van, but we haven't gotten that far. Instead, we down-sized to a honda civic. We were both sad to see the montero go (we loved it), but it was time to make some wise decisions in terms of our economic position. Hence, buying a civic and saving on gas and insurance! It has been a fun few days getting used to a stick again!
Well, all I can say on this New Year's eve is that 2007 has been a great year. There has been struggles and pain, but our family has expanded, our marriage has grown, and God has become even more present in our lives. Mesha and I feel truly blessed as we enter this new year. We pray you and your family do also!

Here's the promised pics....only a month later!

2007-12-10T13:49:00.000-06:00

Here are the ultrasound pics of the baby! I know I promised to have the up sooner, but I couldn't find them for a while. Oh well, here they are. If you haven't spoken to either of us for since my last post here is the scoop. We couldn't find out the sex because the baby wouldn't cooperate. He/she wouldn't uncross its legs.

It's kind of hard to tell here, but these are the crossed legs. (Proof for those who have their consperacy theories!

This is it's face. Right now....only a face a parent could love! There is no fat on the face at this stage, so kind of scary looking. Any guesses on the sex from the face?

This is my favorite. It shows the babies profile and it looks as if he or she is sucking its thumb! I can't wait to meet this little one.

Mesha is in her 24th week of pregnancy and doing really well. Things are clipping along now that she feels better and the holiday season is here. This baby is going to come along before we know it. Please pray that we are prepared over the next few months and that I can get some substitute teaching jobs to make the extra $ we need for Mesha's maternity leave. Thanks!

Boy or Girl???? That is the question!

2007-11-10T16:35:00.000-06:00

We had our twenty week ultrasound yesterday evening and have some "pics" of the baby. The big question was to find out the sex or not to find out the sex. Well.....you'll have to wait until we get the pics up to find out what we decided!!!!! Needless to say, the baby is looking healthy and whole, so we are pleased with that. Stay tuned for "pics" and more news on the sex!

Time is flying!

2007-10-30T13:16:00.000-05:00

Well, time is flying by and in a couple of weeks we are half way through the pregnancy! I can not believe that we already to that point. It is encouraging and scary all at the same time. I so want to meet this little person that is developing in Mesha and, yet, I have so much I feel needs to get done before this little one graces us with its presence. Thanks to all of you who have encouraged us and made us feel so special throughout that last several months. We truly are blessed with friends and family that are a cut above the rest!

Radom thoughts for the week.

2007-10-16T10:49:00.000-05:00

First of all, Mesha is sixteen weeks now, so I am not sure what's going on this week because I haven't looked, but I do know that she is still feeling much better than she did and I also know that we have only five months until we have a baby, so I feel the pressure of getting everything together!!!
In other areas of life, I have recently been thinking deeply about suffering. I have heard several stories of lives thrown into chaos by disease, death, and unexpected hardship recently. Also, our church looked at this subject this last week. The more I think about it, the more I think life is supposed to be hard and we are actually supposed to suffer. Paul told us to rejoice in our trials and I think I get it a little more this week. See, there are two reasons to be rejoicing in our trials. First, we grow through hardships. Think about it like a parent and child. The parent doesn't ever want a child to hurt or suffer, but sometimes has to allow this or even cause pain, so that a child learns the proper ways to move through life. It is the same with our heavenly father. He must allow us to go through hardship in order to grow our character. However, I think this call to consider our hardships "pure joy" goes even deeper. See, the thought has been in my mind this week that I feel out of place in this world. At first, I thought maybe I was suffering some kind of depression and even considered talking to someone about it, but then something occurred to me. See, the closer I get in my relationship with Christ, the more I become like Christ. Christ, would not feel at home in the world as it exists today either. See, this world is not my home! I shouldn't feel at home here. I shouldn't feel comfortable existing in the world the way exists at this point in God's plan. Therefore suffering and hardship not only build character, but also make sense in that we are not of this world when we have been transformed or are in the process of being transformed by the renewing of our mind!

Where we are at!

2007-10-04T12:05:00.000-05:00

We are in the middle of week fourteen. Our baby is peeing!!!! The baby practices breathing too. Amazing! This is what it looks like....well, sort of anyway.

I thought I would post more!

2007-10-04T11:59:00.000-05:00

Man, I thought I would be updating this blog all the time now that we are expecting our first baby, but alas, life doesn't get less busy when you are having a baby.
Mesha is feeling much better these days, which is just in time because none of her clothes fit. Now many of you are saying, "its time to get maternity clothes!" However, when I say her clothes don't fit, I mean they are too lose. She lost a grip of weight with her morning sickness, so we are working on her eating a little more! (Not too much and she is keeping it healthy.) I think I can safely say, that will never be my issue!
This last weekend Mesha went to Maple Log with the women of her family and a couple of special friends! Sounds like they had a blast. I stayed back (of course!) and painted a couple rooms in our house. My good friend Greg came over last Friday and helped me paint our guest bedroom and our baby's room! I'll will have pictures later this week of the colors.
Well, that is the news around here. I hope all is well. Oh yeah, if you want to learn Greek, give me a call, I just started, but we can learn together!!!! J/K

Little Tork is on its way!

2007-08-22T13:00:00.000-05:00

About a month ago, I found out I am going to be a father! Yes, Mesha is pregnant and we have decided that the world should know! Mesha is almost nine weeks along and is feeling very pregnant. She has had extreme problems with morning sickness (which I found out can be afternoon sickness, evening sickness or middle of the night sickness!). After a couple visits to the emergency room for fluids and a couple of doctor visits, it seems like we have it under control. However, she is still having a hard time making it through the day even with the meds, so please pray for her. The baby is due March 30, so I am sure he/she will be late, so he/she can be an April fools baby! This is not an actual ultrasound of our little one, but this is what he/she looks like right now!

Another one down!

2007-08-08T11:27:00.000-05:00

I returned last friday from the second mission trip of the summer. This one was a little more intense for me because I was bringing four leaders and twenty-one students. The only thing that went wrong was getting lost on the way to the site. Youthworks! sent me the wrong directions, but we made it safe and sound! We had an incredible week in the Quad Cities serving and being served by the local community. I couldn't have asked for better churches to serve alongside or for better sites for my students to get the feet wet in missions. Youthworks! is awesome at youth missions trips and I don't think I'll ever do one without them. Both trips have been life changing for my students and on both trips the staff has been so on top of things that I am left to concentrate solely on investing in my students' lives. It is great!
I have one story I must tell before I sign off. One day we were working at a Salvation Army Day Camp and I met the most adorable little girl. We had just gone swimming and I always get the sniffles after swimming. I sat down next to this little girl who also had the sniffles. I mentioned that we both had the sniffles and then asked what her name was. She proceeded to tell me amidst a flurry of sneezes that her name was "Olivia, but they call me (sneeze) Olivia Sneezy!" What a great moment!

What's going on?

2007-07-19T11:49:00.000-05:00

There are so many things going on in my life, well possibly going on in my life, right now that I can't talk about. It is driving me nuts! I wish I could spill my guts on here and let everyone in on all the things I am pondering in my life right now. Alas, I cannot. They aren't bad things, but as I have grown older, I have discovered that good things sometime should remain secret until the right time. I know I am driving many of you nuts by writing about something I can't write about, but at least I know others are enduring the pain with me! Sorry, but it does make me feel better. Oh well, maybe some day I will be able to reveal what has got me excited, a bit nervous and totally perplexed.
On other subjects. No one has decided to let me borrow or give me their motorcycle, yet. What's up with that? J/k I would still take one if anyone out there wants to let a nice, young, youth pastor fulfill a dream!
I hope all of you out there enjoy your weekend....God Bless!

P.S. As I was confronted by two people asking about having a baby and this post, I would like to clear things up. I was not referring to Mesha and my future in terms of pregnancies, babies or kids in general. I guess I need to be careful how I word things or people get the wrong idea!

Our Missions trip was awe inspiring!

2007-07-10T12:18:00.000-05:00

I have only been on one missions trip in my life until last week. It was a habitat for humanity trip when I was a junior in college and it was pretty amazing. We went to New Orleans to build houses for poor families in the area. We experienced a lot and developed friendships that lasted through the years. However, nothing could have prepared me to experience a mission trip with my students from church. To see God move and work in huge ways in such a short period of time is really quite awe inspiring. The last night as we went around the table and all my students including the tough guys choked up as they spoke about their experience was so encouraging as a pastor. I was crying like a baby! God is good all the time, but this last week, my blinders were removed for a brief moment and more of the splendor of our awesome God was revealed. I will not be the same because of it!
I will try to tell some of the cool stories over the next week and maybe get some pictures up. Pray for the Sr. High students at the Quarry that they will not walk away from what God has done and taught this past week. Pray that they would continue to seek Him earnestly even within the struggle of their daily lives!

Getting caught up!

2007-06-15T11:35:00.000-05:00

You may remember last January when my wife and I went through a tramatic or semi-tramatic experience with a dog. We had the cutest little puppy for two days because once we got it home, we realized my wife was terribly allergic. It was a surprise to us because she had grown up with a dog. Well, I promised then that I would put pictures up and I didn't, but now I have done some work on my blog and figured things out a little more, so here is a pic of Thor. The dog we will always remember having for two days!

2007-06-14T14:42:00.000-05:00

So my latest obsession is motorcycles. My father-in-law and brother-in-law both ride and have been wanting me to join them for some time now. I have had a facination with the machines since I was quite young, but my parents always told me how dangerous they are and how I shouldn't even think about it. Well, I am thirty now and I am thinking for myself. (I know, its about time!) I really want a bike and my wife supports the idea, however, I do not have the money to get one right now. So, here is my plan. I am going to get my permit in the next week or so and then take the basic safety course here in Minnesota, which means that hopefully I will have my endorsement in a month or so. After that I am going to start saving the my money in hopes of buying a bike next summer. In the mean time, I am putting out a call to any super generous person who may have a bike sitting around that they want to borrow me or give me this summer to ride!!!! Anybody out there want to help an obsessed youth pastor get a motorcycle????
By the way, if any of you who read know my parents, it would be best just not to mention this to them for now. Thanks!

2007-05-21T13:09:00.000-05:00

Bum bumbum BUMMMMM! (Pretend it is trumpets beckoning all to listen) I have officially finished my last paper for the quarter and after two classes and one group presentation, I will officially be on summer break!!! "I feel good" "And I knew that I would" "So good" "So good" I will now have time for such things as....Oh wait, that is right, I am looking for a second job. Oh well, it will be different than school and I am planning on enjoying myself this summer a little bit!!! By the way, if anyone knows of a pretty flexible job that I could do, let me know! Thanks for the support and lets do something this summer!

2007-04-09T19:26:00.000-05:00

As part of my job (as Youth Pastor), I am expected to spend time pursuing my relationship with Christ in a way that keeps me in a place to lead others in their relationship. With school, work, family and more, I have not always done the best over the last few years. I am not proud of this, but have consistently made an effort to improve this whole sitatuation.
This past month my lead pastor asked me to take a spiritual retreat, on which I was to spend considerable time seeking out God through scripture, prayer, and solitude. In the past, the prospect of spending many hours alone and with only my bible was intimidating to say the least. Well, not much had changed for me as I headed north last thurs. to have a spiritual retreat at Timber Bay Camp. However, after participating in this type of discipline, I have committed to practice a day of solitude each month.
I began the day by building a fire and reading through the four gospel accounts of Jesus's arrest, trial and crucifixion. I journaled my thoughts about those descriptions and then I began to journal my prayers for family, friends, church ect... Then I just sat in silence for a while. Finally, I bundled up and went for an hour and a half hike.
At the beginning of this hike, I just said to God, "Okay, I am listening talked to me as I walk." I half expected to have a huge God moment where he reveals something profound to me. Part of me sort of thought he might even speak to me audibly. I don't know why, but I just wanted to meet God in those woods. As I walked, nothing profound came to me. God did not speak to me audibly or otherwise. He did not speak to me really at all. What happened in those woods, though, was quite profound for me. I had this unconcious, but keen awareness that I was walking with the Creator. It was like two friends who know each other so well, they can really enjoy just walking silently together. It was like two people who are so close they can communicate profound love and respect through just being present together. I took a walk with God last week and it changed me. I am still me, I still am weak, but the peace that I have experienced is amazing. To practice solitude and the presence of God has become a very real and valued discipline to me in my journey. I recommend it with all my heart. May God bless and keep you this day and into the future!

2007-03-12T16:03:00.001-05:00

Here is my intelligence thingy in case anyone is interested!

Your Dominant Intelligence is Interpersonal Intelligence

You shine in your ability to realate to and understand others.
Good at seeing others' points of view, you get how people think and feel.
You have an uncanny ability to sense true feelings, intentions, and motivations.
A natural born leader, you are great at teaching and mediating conflict.

You would make a good counselor, salesperson, politician, or business person.

What Kind of Intelligence Do You Have?

2007-02-21T15:15:00.000-06:00

Well, as most of you know and many blogs have already noted, it is "Idol" season again. Being a musician and avid "Idol" fan, I thought I would give my humble opinion. First of all, what is with Randy Jackson this year? Yeah, he is "successful" in the music industry, but the "dawg" can't sing a lick and he is really dogging a lot of contestants. I am not saying that he is correct in his evaluation, but get a hold of yourself. It's not like he's ever gotten any recognition as a singer! Now that I am done with that rant, I can move on.
This year, as always, the contestants have started off rough. None of the guys really wowed me last night, but here is who I like so far. I really like Blake (the blond beat box guy). He has a really great voice and just seems to have the star quality about him. Then it is Chris (the shaggy hair Chris). He is hilarious and fun and can really sing. I think I would be his friend if I knew him. Finally, I really like Sundance Head. Just because of his name. He really screwed up last night....again, but if he can get that soulful bluesy thing he had in his audition, he will rock America. Anywho, I guess that is my thoughts on the "Idol" so far this season.

2007-02-13T13:02:00.000-06:00

It has been really fun to see what Sesame Street characters everyone takes after, but the funniest part of this whole craze was finding out my wife and my own. As you can see below, I am like Ernie. Guess who my wife is like....Yup Bert. We're Bert and Ernie!!! Isn't that hilarious!

2007-02-09T15:13:00.000-06:00

Here is my Sesame Street character....

You Are Ernie

Playful and childlike, you are everyone's favorite friend - even if your goofy antics get annoying at times.

You are usually feeling: Amused - you are very easily entertained

You are famous for: Always making people smile. From your silly songs to your wild pranks, you keep things fun.

How you life your life: With ease. Life is only difficult when your friends won't play with you!

The Sesame Street Personality Quiz

This is actually my true self when I am not stressed out with school. Only two and a half more years until I get to be my care free silly self again!!

2007-01-18T13:10:00.000-06:00

So, a quick update because several people have assumed that the trajedy that occurred with the puppy was that it died. There were no puppies harmed in the writing of any blogs or in the stay that it had at our house. Thor (this was his name) was a great dog and did very well at our house, but Mesha was allergic, so he went back to the rescue he came from to be adopted out to another great family. We miss you Thor!!!

2007-01-16T14:03:00.000-06:00

So, the puppy saga has ended. It was a tragedy, really, and I am not totally ready to explain the whole thing, but we will not be getting a dog ever! I will update everyone on the long sorted story, but I need to wait for now.
In other news, we are totally ticked off at Cub Foods right now. At Christmas time they had boxes of movies out for like $6. We were enticed, so we each bought the other a movie for our stocking. We were finally able to watch Mesha's last night and were horribly dissapointed because it was scratched like crazy and we couldn't even watch it! Now, if the box that the movies were being sold out of had said previously viewed and had warned us to buy at our own risk that would be one thing, but the box said nothing. We don't have the reciept or anything, so I think we are out $6. My movie had a wrapping on it, with three seals, Mesha's didn't, so if you are ever buying discounted movies at Cub or anywhere else, remember to check things out thoroughly!
Everything else in our lives is going quite well! We absolutely love our town house and have had no problems with our association any of other neighbors. They are all very pleasant neighbors. However, we don't really know any of them, but pray that we can establish some relationships!!! Hope all is well with you all out there!

2007-01-10T17:00:00.000-06:00

So the puppy saga continues. Mesha and I went to some pet stores last night and saw some really cute puppies, but they are all too expensive. We also found out that we probably don't want to buy a puppy from a pet shop because of puppy mills and disease that occurs a lot with those dogs. So, we are going to try to adopt a dog from a humane society or rescue, but that could be a while because we have to find the right dog! It has to be 20 pounds or less per the requirements of our association and we have to like it, you know! Our wish is that someone we know or who knows someone we know would give us a puppy somehow. So, if your out there and you know someone with puppies who would like one to find a good home and it will be 20 pounds or less, let us know! Thanks!

2007-01-05T12:40:00.000-06:00

In other Torkelson news, we have been super busy with our families over the holidays and loved it. We got to see my sister's boys who are 3 1/2 and 3 months and are both adorable. We also got to spend some quality time with the rest of my family who really take care of us when we visit. Then we had Mesha's immediate family over to our house for Christmas day. It was a ton of fun to have everyone to our "new" place and have some see it for the first time. I know we are a little late with that whole thing since we have been there for like six months now, but it was great to finally have everyone there. Finally, we got to spend a couple of days with Mesha's extended family in Brainerd, which is always very relaxing!
We are both lementing the return to the grind. I start school again this next week and we both are finding ourselves really worn out by all the fun we have had the past two weeks. I am 30 now, so I suppose I can't go as hard as I used too, but I am still going to try because I figure the younger I act the younger I am, right?
The final update is that both Mesha and I have been desiring a puppy lately. There are some pretty big obstacles to this happening though. First, we can't have one over 20 pounds because of our association. Second and maybe more importantly, some of Mesha's family is allergic to dogs and can only be somewhere with dogs for a short period of time.
We have been trying to figure out if this would be a major problem or not, since we don't have them over a ton???? Also, don't want to be insensitive to those family members though. Finally, ideally said puppy would be adopted for cheap or given to us for free!!! Any thoughts on the puppy thing??? (I know what you think Chris, so you probably don't need to comment!!!!)
I hope I do this more in the new year, so check back and if you really want to here from me, let me know. I usually will update if I know people actually want to read it.
Blessings on your new year!

2007-01-05T12:39:00.000-06:00

Okay, it has been brought to my attention from my friend Lori and by some ananomous person that I need to update and that I forgot to say Merry Christmas. So, Merry Christmas!

2006-11-30T11:44:00.000-06:00

Well, school is winding down and life seems to have a couple of more open moments, so I thought I would update people again. This week during one of my classes I gave this blog a new look! What do you think? I had a couple of complaints from some "older" folks that they couldn't read my blog when it had a black them with white text. I don't know why they had a problem. I turn thirty in a few weeks and I could still read it just fine. Yet, I aim to please, so the new look is here to stay. I also added some of my blogging friends to the sidebar, so check them out. They aren't always the best at updating, but neither am I, so what can I say!!
In other news, Mesha and I have been busy on the house, but feel like nothing real is actually being accomplished. I think hanging some drapes and putting up more Christmas decorations are top on the list for this weekend. That should be an interesting process in the Torkelson household. Mesha looks to me to get out my power tools and go to town on these projects, but (and she does really know this) I am not really that skilled in the power tool area. It is actually quite comical to see, when I "do a project." What it basically turns out to be, is Mesha using my height and strength like a machine to get the project done. She tells me how to do it, then I think I know better and try it my way and then end up doing it her way, which usually works best in the end anyway! (I know that was a run on sentence. In case Julie is reading this) Anywho, hopefully soon both Mesha and I will feel comfortable having more people come by the house. It will be so fun to entertain all you that live near enough to come. For those who live far away (like the Cannons in Alaska) we'll have to post some pics! I hope everyone is taking time to actually enjoy this incredible season of the year. Happy Holidays! (Don't worry, I'll say Merry Christmas when we get closer!)

2006-11-06T21:28:00.000-06:00

I am not sure who it was, but I was asked to update my blog, kindly being reminded that my busy brother-in-law has even updated his. So, I will satisfy those who actually still check in after my lack of attention to my readers.
Right now I am sitting in a seminary class that I actually enjoy. Lately, I have struggled with being in school particularly because of the class content or teaching style of professors. My involvement in ministry and my need to attend to family has really caused me to put school on the backburner of my life. It has become a second thought, until now. I have an incredibly intelligent and amazingly skilled professor for a class called integrative seminar. This class takes all the theology we have studied and applies it to the real world. Right now we are discussing how theology and science intersect. The questions we are asking are many. Do these two disciplines intersect at all? Can science speak into theology? How? Is there ever a time and place when theology speak into science? How? Why is our culture bent on claiming that science automatically trumps something theological or spiritual? Is this a realistic position to take or is it a subjective presupposition in the debate? Should there even be a debate?
This stuff is very exciting to me because while I am successful in the academic world, I do not sit well with topics or discussions that do not seem to practically relate to life or ministry. This class takes many ideas and concepts that we have discussed for over a year and applies them to more practical disciplines and ministry applications. Another reason I am really excited is because as we sit and discuss the interaction of theology and science, Time Magazine featured this debate as its cover story. This is active and relevant stuff that is really on the minds of Americans right now. If I can have more classes like this, I think I might actually make it through three more years of seminary without to much trepidation.
For those of you not really interested with the above topic, here is a little update on the Torkelsons. Mesha and I made it through an extremely busy October. I was gone on retreats and conferences 11 of the 30 days of the month. Add work, school and other obligation and we did not see much of each other. We are excited to have more time together!
Mesha has been busy getting us going on projects in our now not so brand new townhouse. While I typically put up some resistance to being involved in these projects, I do have to say that I enjoy the feeling of accomplishment in finishing various things in MY HOUSE!!! Its a good feeling. Other than this, we do not have much more news. We are looking forward to the Holidays and seeing family. Also we are in the fun process of deciding what our vacation plans will be for the next year. Hopefully, I will get back into this blogging thing now that my life is slowing slightly after a busy summer and fall. ??We'll see??

2006-09-26T16:14:00.000-05:00

Here's a quick update on the Torkelsons. Mesha just returned from a great weekend with the women of the Good family. They headed north to a resort for some good food and intense scrap booking. Not my bag of tea, but it sounds like they had a wonderful time and the creations that Mesha returned with look great!
In general, we have been keeping busy, but have also had a little more time lately to just hang out. We are trying to motivate ourselves to get all the projects at home done before winter hits. You would think buying a brand new place would make it so you didn't have many projects, but we are finding that not to be true.
The next month, for me, will be crazy busy with two youth retreats, a conference at Bethel and a conference at Willow Creek Community Church in Chicago. I think I am gone 1/3 of the month of October. Pray for Mesha because my business equals some more stress on her. Thanks for understanding and supporting my ministry, Meesh.
Mesha has settle her contract at work and subsequently decided to get crazy busy, there, herself. She has added responsibilities with the WOW (wellness on wheels) van, a new committee, heading up CPR training, and some complicated cases for her everyday work. Mesha is a mover and shaker, though, so I sure she will do very well at all of it.
The exciting news for Mesha and I for this month is the birth of our fourth nephew to my sister Julie. She had a c-section on wed. sept. 20 and gave birth to a 7 lbs 2 ounce baby boy named Liam. We get to meet him this weekend and I can't wait. I love being an uncle. The love and laughter that all my nieces and nephews bring me could not be replaced

2006-09-26T15:59:00.000-05:00

I don't like using this blog to whine or complain, and I won't start now. While it is not really whining, what I am about to write may come off that way if read with a particular presupposition. I feel like I am at one of those transition moments in life that are really difficult. I mean like when you graduate high school and move on to some other schooling or work, or when you graduate college and kind of expect to rocket into life only to find getting a career and family started is a lot more difficult than you thought. My wife and I have been married for a little over two years. She makes pretty good money and I have a great job as a youth pastor. We just bought our first home and have decent to awesome cars. I should feel content and lovin life. And, in many ways I really do. I can see that I am incredibly blessed, but I want to keep moving through this transition time. I feel stuck now. We can't have kids, yet, because it wouldn't be finacially responsible. Some people say we should take some great vacations because we don't have kids. Yet, if it is irresponsible to have kids, right now, then what makes taking extravagant trips responsible. I want to be comfortable. Man, I was going to right more there, but I think I may have discovered something porfound in that simple statement. "I want to be comfortable." I don't want to sacrifice the "necessities" of this world to live a life of servitude to Christ. Well, I guess I have news for myself today. That's not how it works. My struggle lately is obvious by what I write here. I am feeling the conflict of the way of the world versus the way of Christ. I don't know if I have felt that conflict, yet, in my life. I have not had to choose between the creature comforts and a life sold out for Christ, but right now maybe that is what I am feeling. Now, don't get me wrong. Compared to most of the world I am not sacrificing anything. Yet, in my context up until recently, I am sacrificing to be in school and to have a job in ministry. Pray that Mesha and I can see more clearly the blessings that we have been given. Pray that we can make wise decisions that bring glory to God's name and put us in a position to serve God and others more. Pray that God's way wins out in us over the world's way, daily. Blessings.

2006-09-07T12:51:00.000-05:00

If you didn't know, we have been on edge lately because Mesha (my wife) was facing the possibility of a strike at work. While, I did understand her co-workers plight in terms of wanting to earn what they deserve, I was also concerned with the fact that we had just purchased a Townhouse. Well, the county voted and accepted the latest contract. I do hope the County Comissioners take a look at the turn over rate and the fact that at least a 1/3 of the workers in this union qualify for the services that they provide the rest of the county the next time a contract comes around. Until then, we will be a little less stressed in the Torkelson household.

2006-09-06T11:32:00.000-05:00

I know a lot of people have been blogging about Steve Irwin's death, but I too want to express my feelings. Crocodile Hunter got me through the stressful times in college. Steve Irwin's passion for his job and his crazy antics swept me away from the reality of my studies for a few sweet moments. Obviously I didn't know Steve from Adam, but the way he approached his life's work was incredibly influential on me. See, I would make fun of his over-exuberance with the rest of my friends, but when it came right down to it...the man was good at what he did and took joy in every moment. I know I only saw the edited film and so I cannot say I have seen the real everyday Steve, but I can't help believing that the excitement and joy that he portrayed in each segment was something that could not be faked. So, here's to the memory of man that loved God's creation (whether he knew God created it or not) and at least in my mind lived life to the fullest, enjoying all of what he did!

2006-08-23T11:01:00.000-05:00

Do you ever get in a funk? Do you ever have times where life just doesn't seem like its great, but its not really bad either. It's just kind of there? I have been in a funk recently, and it almost seems worse than when life is bad. I have realized what is wrong and am taking action to move out of the funk, realizing I have only myself to blame for it. Last night our small group had a great discussion about this very topic. We talked about how Jesus promises us life to the fullest, but we probably don't really believe that this can be true because we don't pursue our relationship with him in a way that would suggest that we do. I thought about that some more today. I think that it is absolutely a true statement for me. I have been working hard as a Youth Pastor, husband, and even "Christian," but I have not put my faith in Jesus Christ to provide me with life to the full. Instead, I have relegated him to one and only one place in my life recently. I have relegated Him to the sole position of Savior. Now, don't get me wrong, that is a very important part...probably the most important part of Christ's work here on earth, but it is not the whole story. See, Jesus didn't stop with just getting us inside the gates of heaven. He reunited us with the God of the universe and created a place for us in His family. He promised us life to the full. What does that mean...Life to the full? We talked about this last night, too, in a round about way. I don't think it necessarily means that we will have money and cars and material things like many in this world would have us believe. Jesus didn't talk about the rich or the materially blessed in very positive terms and He warned his followers about trials that they would face because of their belief in Him. I don't think it necessarily means an adventurous life that includes traveling the world and meeting famous people. Christ was humble and only traveled a very small section of the world in His time on earth. (Although, some may be called to travel the world and speak the gospel, even to well known people, most of us will not be so called) Life to the fullest, means to me, living a life deeply connected to God, full of his unexplainable peace, content with the blessings He chooses to bestow, patiently waiting on His still small voice, passionately joining Him in the pursuit of the rest of humanity and expectantly awaiting the final coming of our mighty, loving, gracious King! Not something that comes naturally for us, but definitely something that the Holy Spirit, when allowed to be creative within us, can accomplish. Peace be with you!

2006-08-03T11:00:00.000-05:00

What's with combining celebrity couple's names?

The other night I was watching the news with my wife, when they started talking about "Bennifer", which consists of the couple Ben Affleck and Jennifer (forgot her last name, but Alias Chick). We started talking about the phenomenon of combining celebrity couple's names together. Another example of this new craze is "Brangolina". We got to thinking and started putting couples' names together that we know. Here are a few we came up with!

JJ and Kelly Johnson "Jelly"
Brenton and Stephanie Balvin "Brephanie"
Brandt and Stephanie Sorbel "Braphanie" (Needed to differentiate from "Brephanie")
Jesse and Andrea Friewald "Jandrea"
Myself and Mesha "Jesha" or "Joesha" (depending on how you decide to do this thing)
Geoff and Michelle Coombe "Gichelle"
Pete and Erin Corniea "P-rin"

If you want to have some fun and can come up with some others leave a post!!!

2006-08-01T09:32:00.000-05:00

Hey all.....

It has been a long stinkin time since I posted anything. I have a bunch of excuses, but I'll save them because I think everyone understands and no one wants a huge explanation. I'll update you as briefly as possible about the Torkelson's summer 2006.

Mesha has been in the emergency room 4 times in the past two months with kidney stone issues. One of those visits was on the way to a student conference in Tennessee at 5 am in Shelbyville Kentucky. Thanks to the wonderful doctors and nurses at Shelbyville Jewish Hospital. They got her drugged up (for the pain) and sent us on our way. Anywho, she had surgery last Wednesday and has been struggling to get back to normal since. She went back to work yesterday, but still isn't herself. Hopefully in the next couple of days, she'll make her way back to full strength.
In other news, we closed on our new town home in Buffalo MN about two and a half weeks ago and still haven't gotten much done in terms of unpacking. July 15-22 we spent an awesome week in Tennessee with some of my high school students. It was really sweet to see God meet us there and work in amazing ways with my students. Anyways, back to the house. We absolutely love our town house and feel incredibly blessed to be in a position to have purchased it. We pray that God uses it as a light in our community and a place of welcome and healing for our friends and aquaintances.
Other than that, we are pluggin a long. Mesha is still enjoying public health nursing and I still love my students at Quarry Community Church. I am currently on a short break from school this summer and head back in the middle of August. Oh Joy!!! At least, I have the knowledge that this is the last summer I have to attend classes. Yeah!!!!
I hope all is well. Talk to you soon! (In other words, I am planning on updating a little more often)

2006-06-19T15:51:00.000-05:00

Update for you all....

Mesha is once again healthy. She had a slow recovery last week, but was back up and around by Friday. When she gets sick....she gets sick!

Also, we bought a Townhouse in Buffalo!!! We will be moving the 13th and 14th of July. Two days before a major youth trip, yikes!!! If you are available at any time during those two days or have some time to help us pack up our stuff in the month preceeding, please call us and we will put you to work! Thanks!

2006-06-13T11:29:00.000-05:00

So, I am thinking I better update this thing. It's summer, what can I say!!!

Mesha went to the emergency room yesterday with a severe case of Tonsilitis and dehydration. Thank you so much to Kathy Lundquist for taking her! Kathy took Mesha and sat with her and even went to the store for crackers and drinks for her. What a huge blessing she was yesterday. Just in case your wondering, I was at school down in the Cities when this all went down. Anywho, they gave Mesha some fluids and IV antibiotics, which help a great deal. Mesha is still really under the weather, so if you could remember her in your prayers we would really appreciate it!
In other news, I had to cancel my trip this weekend with my parents because of school. The little rascals had posted a schedule that told me we were done with classes by July 10, but changed they changed the schedule on me. Instead, we are not done unitl July 17, when I will be on a trip with students to Tennessee. Seing as I cannot miss two of five days of class, I had to cancel this trip. Bummer!
Finally, keep us in your prayers because we are still house hunting. We saw a few this weekend we are really interested. We'll let you know if one works out. Have a great June Day!!!!

2006-05-30T11:39:00.000-05:00

Just got back from Chicago!

Mesha and I had a great weekend in Chicago! We went to the Shedd Aquarium and to Navy Pier and even hit up Magnificent Mile a little. The rest of the weekend was spent visiting with Mesha's college friends, who were really fun to get to know. We couldn't have asked for a better weekend wheather-wise either. It was in the low 90s and sunny the entire weekend. It was just so good to get away and spend some real quality time with my wife. We really just caught up with each other, laugh and enjoyed each other's company.
As with any trip, we had our adventures too. I have a couple of stories, but I am going to start with the trip home because the other story I want to post has a picture that I am waiting on to accompany it. The trip home started as any trip home from vacation starts. Mesha and I procrastinated our departure a little with a trip to a store and grabbing Chicago style pizza just before we left. On the way home, we remembered we were going to grab a Chicago shot-glass for one of Mesha's co-workers. We stopped at the very last oasis's on the road out of Chicago and sure enough they were out of them. We then stopped further north at a truck-stop and found a New York City shot-glass, but no Chicago shot glass???? We returned to the road with an Illinois shot glass (the next best thing) and were on our way. Well, I don't know if you are a fan of cruise control, but I am, especially on long trips. I am also not a fan of people on the road that aren't fans of cruise control on long trips. They always speed up and slow down and make it difficult to use cruise for me. Usually, this only causes stress for a short period of time and then the other car or I make a change and someone moves on. However, we had the weirdest encounter with another car that I have ever had, yesterday. We came up on a tan Honda from Illinois (JJ you can never make fun of MN drivers again!). This car was passing another couple of cars in the left lane. I had to slow down behind him until we both passed the other cars. So far, nothing out of the ordinary. However, it soon became obvious that this guy did not want me to pass him. He pulled back into the right lane after passing the other cars and I began to pass him. I promptly hit the gas and took off ahead of me. I thought that was weird, but I just pulled into the left lane and set my cruise again. Well, very quickly, I caught up to the Honda and began to pull around him a second time. He promptly sped up and this time cut in front of me to pass some cars (I think) that were about a mile in front of us. When he pulled in front of me, however, he quickly slowed down. This junk went on for like an hour or so. Some times he would be way a head of us for a little bit, but then he would slow down and harrass us again. The thing is, I don't think he had any clue that he was driving like a complete idiot! Well, if anyone doesn't know me that well, I am not very patient. I held it together for an hour and I am proud of that, but I had enough. After an hour of that junk, I just put the peddle to the medal and went like 90 for a few miles to put him way behind us. After that, I set my beloved cruise control and we never saw him again. Some people's kids!!!!!

2006-05-24T14:10:00.000-05:00

This is for all of my small group peeps out there reading my blog....

Mesha checked into service stuff through her work, but the privacy issues are too great. However, she did talk to her boss and figured out some stuff. We are heading to Chicago tomorrow night, so we will not have a chance to do anything more with this until we return. If anyone wants to look deeper into this, here is the info you need. Mesha's boss said to go to or call the senior center at the Monticello Community Center and ask for Pam. Explain to Pam what we are trying to do as a small group. (Find some lawn work or house work in the Monticello area that needs to get done) Pam should be able to hook us up with some people. If she can't hook us up, she would be able to pass on our desires to the seniors that come through there during the week and hook us up that way. If no one picks this up right away, it might actually be a week before we get to it again. We have a huge week for church when we return. We will, however, follow up if no one else has the ability. Thanks guys!!!

2006-05-23T12:31:00.000-05:00

We just got back from North Point Church in Atlanta, GA and it was incredible. I was blown away by their incredible focus and their honesty about why they don't do all the programs that other churches do. They focus on the 3 key relationships they feel a person should be developing as a Christian. These consist of a relationship with God, a relationship with "insiders" or other Christians and a relationship with "outsiders" or non-Christians. They realize they cannot force people into these relationships, so they create environments that will encourage and assist people in creating and developing these relationships. They are strict about choosing only those programs that create these specific environments and eliminate all the extras. I was inspired to not see excellence as a way of doing things on our own and leaving God out, but as a way to honor God and attract the lost. Another thing about this conference that was super exciting for me, was how practical it was at most levels. I was able to watch and participate in this church's sunday morning activities and not just hear about them, which made this conference much more beneficial. Also, the fact that we started with church at their main campus, which is huge and then were able to see the same principles being carried out in a much smaller and newer satellite was beneficial. We were inspired by the hugeness of North Point Church and then saw how these principles can be carried out on a smaller scale at Buckhead Church. I feel renewed, rejuvinated, and impatient for the future!!!

2006-05-12T08:03:00.000-05:00

House hunting....exciting or stressful?

My wife and I are looking to buy a house. We have looked at like 10-15 houses and have kind of exhausted our choices at this point. We like a couple of the houses, but now the pressure is on. Do we buy one out of the ones we have seen that fits our needs the best or is the best investment, or we just plain like? I don't think any of them fit all the criteria.
Secondly, we started by looking at Town Houses, but decided against them because we wanted a yard and stuff. You know, kids could be on the way in a couple of years, so I thought it would be kind of nice to have a yard for them. However, this option has arose in discussions again. They are generally newer and a little nicer than the homes we have been looking at so far. I guess we will just wait and see where things go. Please pray that we get clear guidance. Whether that guidance comes directly from God or is mediated through those older and wiser than us!

2006-05-05T14:29:00.000-05:00

Aaaah, finally, some time to write!

Mesha and I had a pretty crazy, but fun time last weekend. We had a suprise b-day party for a friend here in Monticello friday night. I learned how to play texas hold em ( I know, I a little behind the game...no pun intended) and actually took the birthday boy out of the game. ( I have to admit that he probably wasn't playing his best at that moment because the presents appeared. Also, I would like to note that we weren't playing for money. No gambling for this guy!!! Anywho, we then had a wedding and a concert on Saturday. The wedding was definitely interesting, seeing as the entire family of the groom seemed to know and love my wife. (She went to the groom's brother's wedding as the groom's date!) Anyway, after the wedding we hit Ikea, of course, had a quick bite to eat and headed for the concert. We were going to see Shawn McDonald, an artist I have fallen in love with lately, but we were in for a pleasant surprise. Dave Barnes, the guy opening for Shawn, stole the show. Shawn was okay, but Dave blew me away. He was hilarious and extremely talented. He has sort of a bluesy, funk and a little soul in his repitour, which just sent me into musical bliss. Check him out if you get a chance. The weekend finished out with its normal busy Sunday schedule.
Other things of special note are getting the office furniture for our new offices and finally moving into the offices officially. Michael and I went to the Cities, yesterday, to get our new furniture. After packing and repacking the Quarry trailer a few times, we finally got it all in and were on our way. Unpacking went much more smoothly minus the dropped desk top (which turned out to be a-okay!). We won't say who was responsible for that! Anywho, it is exciting times around the Quarry office. I hope all is well with everyone in Blogland!

2006-04-26T10:33:00.000-05:00

I feel so good today! The sun is shining here and it is supposed to get to 70 today. I made it through a difficult week last week and actually decided it wasn't that bad! I have a wife who loves me a ton! Life is good!
Mesha is fairly busy these days with Public Health Nursing. She has been in 12 hour car seat classes the last couple of days, so she is pretty tired. AFter finishing two more 12 hour classes she will be a certified car seat inspector, something she always aspired too! J/k However, she is excited to be able to help out new parents and I guess experienced parents with keeping their children safe in the car. She still loves this job, which is really great because life goes better altogether when you aren't constantly stress out about the next time you work like she was at St. Cloud.
I am comming off a very busy time in both school and church, so I am looking forward to some somewhat normal weeks here for a while. I preached again this past Sunday and it seems to have gone well. I am really starting to like preaching and will probably continue to preach when I get the chance and develop that skill more and more. Other than that, I am just pluggin away at school. I still have a little over 3 years left. I know, it is painful for me to say!
Mesha and I are going to get serious about buying a town house or house very soon. We are ready to have our own place and are praying that we can afford a place that will meet our desires to serve the Lord through some hospitality. God is faithful and we believe he will grant our needs and bless our desires to serve Him in some way!
Mesha and I are also both looking forward to our trip to Chicago at the end of the month. We are heading down there over memorial day weekend for some needed R and R and to visit some of Mesha's friends from her time at North Park University. It should be awesome!
I hope all of you out there are experiencing the beautiful day that I am and feel the renewing of life that comes with Spring!

2006-04-18T09:16:00.000-05:00

It's another crazy week. I am preaching again and have several big youth events happening. Pray for me. That's all I have time to say for now. Blessings!

2006-04-12T14:06:00.000-05:00

I haven't been on my blog, yet this week because I have been sick. Fever and other things that are not fun. I am not sure where I caught it, but it took me out good. I am still weak and fatiquing very quickly. I have been sick several times this winter, which is unusual for me. I thought spring would maybe push me out of that, but I guess not. Anyway, I'll try to update more in a few days. Wash those hands, please!!! I am tired of getting sick!!!!

2006-04-05T11:46:00.000-05:00

It's been almost a week and a half since I updated the blog. Time is flying by these days! Life is good with the Torkelsons. Mesha called me yesterday and said that she'll never be bored at work again. Her boss was away for like a week and a half and didn't leave enough work for Mesha. Now that she has returned and explained a few things to Mesha, she will apparently not have anymore trouble with being bored. This is good because coming from a hospital, Mesha is used to always being on the run. She is still thrilled with her work and the chance she has to help families with handicapped children.
I am doing well too. I am a little annoyed with my new classes at Seminary because they seem to entail more busy work than most that I have had so far in Sem. Oh Well, I make it through. Other than that, things are life as usual at the Torkelson household. Hope you are all well.

2006-03-27T15:56:00.000-06:00

Well, I preached (doesn't it seem like there should be a word like proch) yesterday and it seem to go very well. I have had a lot of positive comments and good affirmations. I got a little nervous at first, but then I just settled into what I love to do. Talk to people. It was really, pretty incredible actually. Not my message, but how it felt to depend on God and really seek to speak in a way that was honoring to him. I felt closer to God this week! Over all it was a really great experience and I get to do it again at the end of April!
The other major thing in the Torkelson's life is looking into buying a house some day. We have been looking around to see what's out there, but this just seems to be a kind of scary, exciting thing. I mean, from our perspective this is an enormous decision and we are a little freaked to say the least. Anyway, we have had fun dreaming and looking, but every time we sort of talk seriously about a house, we don't know how people ever afford to go through with it. Pray that we would have wisdom and patience. Pray that God would give us peace with our decision when the time and place are right. We really do seek to honor God even with this decision in our lives. See, we really want a house that we can invite people into and love on them. This is a ministry house of sorts. Not bad investment, either, but we want a place to do good ministry. Anywho, thanks for all the encouragement yesterday and we pray that you are all well and are all taking your baby steps. We are trying to!!!

2006-03-23T13:19:00.000-06:00

You know when everyone around you starts talking about something, so you start thinking about how that relates to you, but then you don't say anything because you don't want to be a copy cat. Well, I am going to say something at the risk of being a copy cat. I have said this often, but I don't think I can say often enough. I am incredibly blessed to have my wife Mesha. I have had a couple of hard weeks of ministry and school lately and through it all my wife has blessed me richly. It is only this week and maybe this moment that I realized what a blessing she has been. See, every time I have a hard week or two coming, I warn her that I will be busy. This is my way of saying, "I love you dearly, but leave me alone." The last two weeks she has done anything, but leave me alone. She talked to me when I was trying to study and wore me down until I would commit a night each week to just being with her. Until now, I saw this as unsupportive and bothersome, but I realized something today. It is all in how you look at things. Some men would give everything they had to get that kind of attention from their wives. Some men have lost their wives because of the very attitude I have had in my busy times this past year and a half. My wife, however, has continued to be interested in me and love me. She has chosen to adapt to the situation and still get what she needs from me. She has chosen to serve me by letting her needs be known clearly. I think I finally get it. She loves me too much to just go away when I am busy. For that I thank you Mesha. Like the other men, who have recently blogged about their wives, I just want to say that I don't deserve what I have been given in terms of a wife. Mesha is a living, walking, breathing symbol of God's incredible love and grace in my life. May you all recognize the blessings in your life. If that blessing is a person...let them know!

2006-03-21T14:44:00.000-06:00

I made it!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I finished my quarter last night, now its on to preaching and the next quarter. It doesn't ever stop, but it does feel good to mark the completion of at least a segment of school.
Also, wanted to let everyone know that my father is doing well. There were no problems with his surgery, so he was home the same day he had it (friday.) Thanks for your prayers, everything should be all good!!!
I had a great weekend with my students and was inspired by the worship and speaker. Blessings!

2006-03-17T11:06:00.000-06:00

I am leaving for Duluth today for a retreat with the students. I am really pumped. This will be a great time to hang with my middle schoolers. Pray for my wife as she will be missing me....I hope! I will miss her too, but I will be with lots of people to distract me.
Also, my father found out this week that he has a tumor (non-cancerous) and is actually having it removed right now. Please pray for his recovery, especially because he is prone to blood-clots. Thanks everyone. God Bless.

2006-03-14T14:18:00.000-06:00

I made it through the first week. Research paper done....15 page paper and final test to go!!!! Mesha didn't lose her husband after all. I have learned how to make time for her even with stress! Now to keep that up!

2006-03-09T10:47:00.000-06:00

Sorry, don't have time to really post, but wanted to give a short update. I am in the last two weeks of the quarter, which means crunch time!!!! Please pray that I can be wise in my scheduling and pray for Mesha, as she is virtually without a husband for two weeks! Blessings on all.

2006-02-28T10:23:00.000-06:00

I think God likes to keep us guessing....

I am not complaining at all this morning, but God really does keep things moving. At least, that is my experience. First, Mesha has been at her job for one week and loves it. She called yesterday to say that they are talking a strike and will vote in a couple of weeks. My father's union threatened to strike almost every other year and I think he only went on strike once in 35 or 36 years of teaching, so neither of us is real worried. However, we do find the whole situation a little ironic. In addition to this, I complained a little last week that life was crazy, but this week I have to move my office to the new office that isn't done, start a major paper, plan and go on a high school retreat, figure out a traditional black church that I can attend and then all the regular chores a week brings me! Yet, I really don't feel stressed this morning. In fact, I feel like laughing at myself and the attitude I had last week about life. All the stuff I have is important and it will take its toll, but ultimately my life is blessed beyond belief and I can't help seeing that this morning. Thank you Holy Spirit for your work in my heart and attitude this morning. Thank you for opening my eyes to the blessings and the incredible life that God has given me.
If you get a chance pray that Mesha doesn't go on strike. Again, we aren't really worried because we know God will carry us through, but it would be nice if she got to work all spring. Thanks and let me know if there is anything we can pray for you about.

P.S. Mary Beth thank you so much for the encouragement this morning. I truly believe your prayers are what precipitated this little uplift of the spirit!!!

2006-02-21T13:45:00.000-06:00

It has been a crazy week....

I feel like I am saying that every week, but this was truly a crazy week. Crisis with some students, homework, homework, homework, and a sinus infection on top of it all. I am glad it is a new week. New weeks mean you get a fresh start, a new chance to do better this week. It is a pretty refreshing way to look at things.
One quick story from last week before I go. We had a small group night with our middle schoolers last week, which basically means small groups just hang out for the night. This last week we decided to group all the guys and all the girls for small group night. Jesse and I took the guys to Fred Cox's house (former record holding kicker of the Vikings) to play video games on the big screen and eat junk food. One of our seventh graders had the best quote of the night. He turned to me after taking it all in and said, "If God and Jesus were here, this would definitely be heaven." If that is a resounding affirmation of our choice of activity for the night, I don't know what would be! Thanks Taylor for making my night!

P.S. Mesha started her new job today. Only eight hours of work for her today. I think she will be shocked at how fast it goes!

2006-02-06T13:27:00.000-06:00

Okay, it has been brought to my attention that I need to practice what I preach and update my blog. (Thanks Lori!!!) This weekend was awesome for my wife and I. God truly blessed us in several ways. First of all, Friday morning my wife recieved a call from Wright County Public Health offering her a job with no nights, weekends, or holidays. Thank you, God. Literally, we have been praying for this for months and God has been good. When you walk close to God and make decisions that seek to place Him as first in your life, he moves in mighty ways to support those decisions!!! Secondly, we were invited to my wife's friend's cabin in Barnum. It is a beautiful log home with forty acres of woods behind it. It was an awesome time of relaxing, eating great food, and playing games. Just what the doctor ordered.
Now it's on to another week with school, work and life. However, I am going to do it praising God because He is good no matter our temporary circumstances. May God bless you this week with His Grace and Mercy!

2006-01-27T20:09:00.000-06:00

I just had an awesome God moment.....

I was watching a DVD that was given to me by my brother-in-law last Sunday. It shows the worship band from a youth ministry at a church in Australia called Hillsong. I watched the worship set and thought the music was awesome. However, what really hit me tonight was the behind the scenes documentary on the DVD. It really showed these artists' heart for Jesus and their passion for really leading people into the throne room. They talked about how it takes a lot of practical logistics to pull off the service they were recording, but that ultimately their hearts must be in the right place when they lead worship. As I watched this, I was brought to my knees in tears and passionate prayer. The Spirit convicted me of a "cold heart." I have been learning things about God and about myself, working hard at ministry, and playing drums the best I know how, but I haven't been loving God. I haven't been allowing myself to grow closer to God with my heart. I was also convicted of a shallow prayer life and filled with a passion to cover my ministry, my church, and my community in prayer. Our church focuses on doing things excellently and that is good. Excellence is not the enemy. However, the enemy can use the idea of excellence to throw us off our path to a passionate relationship with our Lord. It is called Pride, which can be the evil step sister of excellence. I am determined to bring an atmosphere of prayer and passion to the forefront of our churches attempts to worship with excellence. Our hearts must be turned towards God and I think all pastors, churches, and Christians have a tendency to slide away from that position. I am not judging anyone at the Quarry or criticizing for that matter. We have an awesome church with awesome pastors and awesome people, but I do want all to hear the call of a loving God that wants to hear our hearts crying out for Him in love. Maybe I am the only one who needed that reminder at this time, but He filled my cup tonight and I want to share that with my community.

I really do love God...

2006-01-24T22:46:00.000-06:00

Okay....I'm a Hypocrit!!!

I have been bugging some of my fellow bloggers about updating their blogs, while allowing my to lapse for a while. I'm Sorry! I have no excuses. I just haven't been about blogging as often lately. I think I just wait until I have something that is maybe a little deep (at least for me) before blogging lately.
Mesha and I are doing pretty good. We are still praying that she will have a job change soon that allows her to participate in our church community more. She really is missing that connection piece to God. She wants so badly to be able to attend church and small group regularily. She also feels more called then ever to minister to youth alongside me. God has blessed me so incredibly with a wife that wants to serve alongside me in ministry!!!
I know this is kind of random, but I guess it reflects my mind tonight. I have been thinking a lot tonight and have been very convicted spiritually and as a ministry leader. I set a vision for my youth that reflects the churches vision of reaching out beyond our community to bring people into the Kingdom. This fall we were so excited and passionate about our relationship with God, each other, and passionate about our call to reach out. However, my students and I have let ourselves be distracted by life, busyness, and selfish desires. I have felt convicted of getting back on track personally with my Lord and convicted of remind my students about our vision. Tonight we had small group and read through several passages in the Bible, but two really hit me between the eyes. First, was Colossians 3, which starts out by telling us "that you have been raised to life with Christ. Now set your heart on what is in heaven, where Christ rules at God's right side." Then it goes on to tell us what that is all about. It is a very challenging passage and pierced right through to my heart. I think if everyone was honest, this passage can pierce even the most pious Christian men and women. It sets the bar high, but at the same time that I am intimidated by it, I am excited to rise to the challenge. I know, of course, that on my own I cannot meet that standard. However, I am excited to invite the Spirit's work in my life and on my soul, so that I might come closer to that level of redemption. I want to be purified by His fire and shaped by His mighty hands. The second passage that caught my attention is much like the first. It is Romans 12, which also encourages us to live holy lives and explains to us what that really means. We had an evening that was not always comfortable, but was very uplifting. We experienced a piece of true community with uncomfortable honesty, motivating teaching, and caring compassionate prayer. We were challenged as a community to re-evaluate our definition of love and make changes to bring radical love into our community. In other words, we experienced church tonight!!! Real Church!!!!! It was pretty sweet.

2006-01-18T15:59:00.000-06:00

Life is busy, busy, busy.... I am part time at my ministry right now, so whenever I am at work, I feel like I have a hundred million things to do in a short amount of time. I am not complaining, but just stating the facts. In fact, I actually feel really good about all that I am accomplishing this week. It really feels good to acomplish goals and feel like you have done a job well. What is it about self-worth that is tied to accomplishments. From what I have heard from or read about in the Bible, we are to find our self-worth in our indentity as God's people. He has chosen us and identifying ourselves with Him is what brings us worth as a human beings. What stinks is that it is so easy to buy into the idea of looking to our accomplishments to establish our self-worth, even in ministry settings. This is especially foolish in a ministry setting because changed lives, which is the goal of ministry, are only accomplished by the work of God through the Holy Spirit. We can't even take credit for sucess in ministry, so we can't define our self-worth by those accomplishments. What is left? Defining our worth by realizing that God has already declared us worthy not by our own merits, but by his grace and mercy.

2006-01-12T16:09:00.000-06:00

I read this in an article about Barna's top five trends in an article by Rabbi Marc Gellman in Newsweek. Maybe there is hope for the evangelical church in America. Maybe people are listening to the cries of modern Prophets calling our people to reach out in love. Let's hope this trend continues!

"The energizing of the evangelicals. Although only 7 percent of adults are evangelicals, their voice is the loudest and their energy, charity, Bible study, and prayer life is the greatest. They give away more than three times as much money as other Americans. In the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina, it was the evangelical volunteers who came in the greatest numbers and stayed for the longest time. I hope that even people who are suspicious of their motives for America can admire the power of their good works when America needed good works the most. Even if they wanted to evangelize the storm-tossed remnants after giving them food, shelter and clothing—who cares? They were there, and most other religious groups were not there in anything like their numbers or sacrificial kindness. People who cannot appreciate the energy of evangelicals for good after the experience of their posthurricane mobilization have eyes, but they do not see. Most pious people flee from the culture and its needs. Evangelicals are engaging the culture and producing the most constant and cogent critique of cultural crud that we are seeing from any religious group in our time."

Let me know what you think about this...

2006-01-10T13:41:00.000-06:00

I feel really satisfied with my life today. I have been reminded of the incredible blessings that surround me in my life. I have parents that care deeply about my wife and I and really want to see us succeed. I have been blessed with the opportunity to work at an incredible church with incredible people who, like me, are just trying to be more like Jesus. I have also been blessed with the opportunity to attend a great seminary and learn more and more about the one I follow. (I know, it was hard for me to say that going to school is a blessing, but when I dug deep I had to feel blessed!) I was also reminded this morning that I married up! I was blessed with an incredibly loving, talented, and beautiful wife. Yet, at the same time today I feel an insaciable urgency about the world. I have been having some discussions lately with two friends about theological issues and both have pointed out the radical love that Jesus showed his world. As I have thought and study since this discussion, I have been more and more convicted about just how radical that Jesus' love was and is. I have also become more and more convicted about how Christians are called to live that life the best we can now. Images of starving, Aids ravaged Africans have been plaguing my mind. Thoughts of environmental damage and efforts to clean up our world have been keeping me awake at night. The fact that countless "outcasts" have been rejected, boycotted, excommunicated and hated by Christians has been bringing much pain lately. I can't say that I have all the practical answers to fix all these problems. I am not standing in judgment of others or pointing fingers at others from a self-righteous position. I am feel the regret and remorse of my own inadequacy in these areas and realizing that I need to love. Jesus laid down his life for me in love! I follow him and wish to be like him! How am I laying down my life for others with the love He showed me? I think we need to focus more on that question as a community of Christ followers.

2006-01-06T13:14:00.000-06:00

I haven't done this here before, but I know that some of those who love my wife and I read this, so I am going to ask for prayer. Mesha (my wife) is struggling quite a bit right now with work. She is a new nurse and like most new nurses she has a tough schedule. Mesha is tough and would normally push through, but there is more to this problem that complicates it. See, she feels called to be an involved Youth Pastor's wife and feels that her current position as a nurse is getting in the way of that calling. She only has the opportunity to be in church or at ministry every other Sunday. This is driving her crazy and when you combine that with other complications at work and a long commute, she is ready to leave. Please pray that we seek God's wisdom in this situation and that he would give her strength for perseverence while she still works for this job. Please pray that if it be his will, she finds a job soon that would allow more participation in community (especially our church). Thanks!

2006-01-03T12:57:00.000-06:00

Glad that's over!

Man, this holiday season has done me in. My wife and I have been running to and fro to the point of exhaustion. If it wasn't for God's grace in teaching us both significant lessons this past month, I am not sure we could say anything good came out of this past month. However, as I think more about that last statement, I realize that isn't completely true either. We have had the opportunity to spend time with family, which is more that many others in the world can say. We also had a few good hours of quality time between us that we can file away as memories. I think it was just hard this Christmas because Mesha had to work over Christmas. It didn't really feel like Christmas because my wife was missing. I was thankful my family came to the church I serve to be with me on Christmas eve, but it couldn't be the same because Meesh wasn't with me. She expressed that she felt the same about being at work on Christmas. We celebrated the same with family, just on different days, but it still made Christmas different. I never thought I would be this affected by my wife's absence at something, but she really means a lot to me. She does not take the place of God in my life, but instead she builds into my the relationship with God. It is almost like we have a co-relationship with God. I wonder if that is what is meant by "two becoming one?"
Well, I am glad to be back in the regular routine of life and ministry! I hope you all have had a blessed started to the New Year. I know that Mesha and I believe this new year holds many hopes in both the good and bad times we will face in 2006. However, that hope only comes from a faith that is bolstered by our relationship with the Creator and Redeemer of our lives.

2005-12-21T16:01:00.000-06:00

To be known and thought of feels good. I don't really know why, but it feels good to know that someone that you haven't seen or talked to in a while is still interested in your life and is thinking about you. I have had two such occassions this Christmas season. First, a couple of days ago, a girl from high school sent a Christmas letter explaining that she had missed me at our ten year reunion, so she was just dropping a line to see how things were with me. It was pretty awesome. She is married and had become a growing Christian in the time since we had last talked. We caught up on the basics and were excited about each others faiths stories and that was that. Yet, it felt good, first of all, that someone I once knew had entered the Kingdom, and secondly, that someone from my past cared enough to be interested in me now. The second incident occurred just this morning. My wife and I were preparing to go to my parents for Christmas this morning when a package came. It was a beautiful crystal bowl with a note attached. As we read, we realized it was from my best friend's parents. They sent a note explaining that they knew we were in ministry and that my wife had just started a nursing job. My best friends mom explained how she sympathized with Mesha because she had been a new nurse once too. Then they simply said they wanted us to know they thought of us and prayed for us. It was so great to know someone, who you didn't know cared so much, is out there praying and thinking of you. What a wonderful blessing we had this morning. Thanks Mrs. Lind!!!

2005-12-17T17:30:00.000-06:00

Here is the last in the series of posts about Hart's book Faith Thinking...

After only one reading of this book, I can honestly say that I cannot find a point on which to disagree with Hart. This is an unusual situation for me to be in after reading a book of this nature. Hart, it seems to me, presents some radically new ideas to the debate in this book, but they are ones that I have been searching for in my journey in thought and theology. I am determined to read this book a second time, once again with a critical eye. However, I am not sure that this second reading will uproot any points of contention. I feel that Hart has unpacked and organized the confused thoughts I have been fumbling over for years. Reading Faith Thinking has challenged and delighted me all at once. It caused me to question, while at the same time bringing me wonderful new understanding. Ultimately I believe Hart has built a new understanding of reality and truth that honors the traditions of both modernity and post modernity by transcending both and leading to a more complete picture of knowledge and human interaction with reality or God.

2005-12-16T17:37:00.000-06:00

Here's another installment of the Hart stuff...

I have to admit at this point I was beginning to lose the line of argument from Hart’s original goal of brining faith back into the public realm. I questioned if I would understand his main point in writing the book. I also questioned how a theology that constantly adapted itself would have any sort of strength or authority. However, as I moved through the final chapter of the book, it all began to come together for me. In chapter ten, Hart brilliantly begins to show that while Christian theology must be open to criticism and reformation by our current cultural trends to remain coherent and integrated, it must also genuinely criticize and reform the culture it is coming up against. He acknowledges that it must be allowed to be reshaped and reformed in the light of new learning and insights, but also must at some point be allowed to stand out from the rest and offer an alternative way of thinking. Finally, Hart wrapped it all up for me in chapter eleven He suggests that we must recognize that our knowledge is not reality itself, but “a product of a transaction between the universality of the created order and the irreducible particularity of our personal standpoints, physical, intellectual and otherwise (p. 224).” Therefore we must put ourselves in a position to get the best possible view of reality. He goes on to suggest that we discover these positions through taking a stance or making a commitment on faith and then refining that through open dialogue with reality. Hart suggests that tradition, as he defined it, is this dialogue over time. He reveals that this reality is none other than God himself and his created order. In other words, faith must enter the public dialogue again if we are to expect a closer understanding of reality because we can only come into dialogue with God through faith.