Five Minute Friday...Moving On

Sorry I did not write last couple of Friday's.  It's been a busy time and I didn't honor my commitment to write at least every Friday.  Anyways....

Our house Sold!  It's not over until we close according to our Realtor, but the bank and the buyer have come to an agreement, so we are free (if everything goes as planned).  Now the stress of packing everything up and moving.  Where to?  You ask!  Well, right now we are moving in with some really close friends from church in Monticello.  However, there are some possibilities on jobs for me other places....like other states.  Yikes!  A little apprehensive about that.  We are praying for God to lead us to where he wants us, but we really hope that is Monticello with our friends.  But that is not really how it works when you place your whole life in His hands.  We don't get to pick.  So, we are waiting for guidance (and using the brain and experiences He has given us) to make a wise decision about our future.  If you want to pray with us about that, we would really appreciate it.  We know that God has plans for our little family and we have great faith in Him to carry out those plans in ways we could never imagine, but we do covet your prayers!  Now off to finish a sermon, watch kids, and get ready to move.  Not a boring day, that is for sure!  See ya next Friday.

Trying something new.....five minute fridays.

Pre-five minute explanation. I have been inspired by a friend of my wife's to try some new things with my blog that I have neglected for so long! So, one of the things she does that I like is five minute fridays. I thought I would give it a try since I am home on fridays and since it only takes five minutes. That way, I keep something up here, but it doesn't take a long time out of my day.

Here goes....

Trust has been a big theme in my family's life recently. I have finally finished school for good and now we are trying to figure out life. We are selling our house and we will have nothing except for my wife's job and some lovely friendships holding us in this part of the country. If God wanted to take us somewhere different or use us in some crazy way, we will be freer now than we have been in a while. Yet, the idea of being open to that call or that journey strikes fear in us much of the time. We hold on to things like friendship and family, the familiarity of our church and our community. We also fear because so far my employment opportunities are bleak. I am employed with a wonderful company who is great to their employees, but the job just doesn't work for us. So, we trust.....we obey and we trust. It has worked in the past and even though this trial seems to be lasting longer than we planned, we must obey and trust. God has been gracious along the way to remind us he is with us on this journey, so that we are thankful for, but we could use prayers as we trust and obey!

That went fast! See you next Friday.

Spring, Flip Flops and Some Relief!

I guess my lack of updating this blog says something about the past few months. They have been the most intense that I have experience in my life. Dealing with loss, attempting to do well at school, work, home, church......... So, some things (i.e. this blog) were left undone. Yet, in the intensity that this last quarter was, I had a profound sense of calm, which is really not normal for me. I guess after seven years of school, I should finally be figuring out how to handle it all! Well, some of the highlights of winter for the Torkelson clan was celebrating Makai's first birthday, the huge amounts of snow in MN, a trip to Colorado, and some fun family days at the MOA or at home. I can't believe our baby boy is one! He is such an amazing kid with a great sense of humor. He is really trying to talk and loves to give everyone hugs and kisses. Zaila is going to be three this week, which I think makes me choke more than Mak being one. She is actually three going on 13! She has a ton to say at all times and loves to do art, play outside and take care of her babies. She has said some of the craziest things lately. The latest is that Michael Buble loves her. Apparently all the songs he sings about love are aimed directly at my daughter???? Mesha and I took a trip to Colorado in Feb. to attend a friend's wedding. It was good to spend some time away from the kids and we really enjoyed the wedding. It was up in the mountains and was incredibly beautiful. We are glad that Spring has finally sprung here in MN! By the time March ends, I am always more than ready to see the snow go and the green to return. The kids have been eager as well and they sneak outside any chance they get. Zaila has also begun to insist on wearing flip flops any chance she gets. We are really looking forward to this summer when we get to ride bikes, go to parks and have picnics. We are also really looking forward to this summer because I will finally be done with school forever! And yes, I mean it this time. I graduate with my Post-Grad. Certificate in Marriage and Family Therapy in June. Then it is on to finding work and studying for the big National Licensing Exam! I am not sure we will know what to do with ourselves, especially as fall hits and I don't return to school. Hope all is well and I will try (and maybe will fail) to keep this updated....that is if anyone actually reads it. ;)

Not our idea of a good week

Last week was not our idea of a good week. For those who didn't know, we had a surprise pregnancy that we discovered on Nov. 29th. We were not planning to have any other biological children because of the difficulties that Mesha experiences during pregnancy. However, after the initial shock and initial concern, we were extremely excited to be having our third child that we always wanted. Last Monday, Dec. 6th, the emotional rollercoaster continued for us. Mesha suddenly experienced intense abdominal pain in the morning as she got ready. She quickly left for the ER as I took care of the kids. She didn't make it, pulling over and calling an ambulance because she was going to pass out. After getting to the ER and receiving an ultra sound, and after I finally made it over to the ER, we found out that Mesha had a tubal pregnancy and that she was bleeding internally pretty severely. She was in surgery with in half an hour of our initial consultation with the OB doc. The surgery went really well and Mesha was home by about 5pm that evening.
We were extremely sad about the loss we experienced and have been doing a lot of processing over the past week. We have experience a ton of love and support from our friends and family and really feel blessed at the blessing that those around us have been. We also want people to know that while we have mourned the loss of this pregnancy and the missed opportunity to hold our third child and watch it grow and all that goes with it, we are praising God for his strong presence and protection of Mesha. The Doc. explained that Mesha was bleeding profusely and that she would have certainly died at other times in history.
Praise God for protecting my wife. Praise God for showing us his grace through this painful experience. Praise God for friends who listen and say the right things at the right times.

Fall pics

We had a family picture session with Jen Good, our sister-in-law, who is amazingly talented. Here are some of the results. We are thrilled with them. I can't believe how cute my kids are! Sorry, I know I am biased, but they are cuties! Not to mention the most beautiful girl holding them!


Mak will already be 1 on Christmas day! He is so funny and interacts with us so much it's crazy.




This girl scares me, she is so beautiful. I can definitely wait for her to grow up! She is going to give me ulcers as she goes out into this world. She is also extremely sweet, often telling her mom or me "I am here." "I'll hold you." to her mom or me when we are upset.

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I wanna bite it!

So, I am loving this past month or so with my daughter, Z. She has gotten to the stage of life where she understands so much and can say so much, but still has the simple mind of a two year, which makes for some very funny conversations. The other night, I was in the process of getting her ready for bed and we were cuddling on the couch when she suddenly decided she wanted to see the bunny that is often eating outside our back windows. She ran to the window to see if the bunny was indulging itself at the moment only to be dissapointed at its absence. Here is the following conversation...

Zaila - Awww, where did the bunny go?

Me - It must be done eating and went home.

Z - Daddy, I wanna see a bunny (as if I can magically make a bunny appear)

Me- I know you do Z, but the bunny went home.

Z- Repeats the above with more intensity.

Me- Honey, I am sorry, but I can't make the bunny come out to eat....Daddy's can't make bunnies do things like that.

At this point, I join her at the back window to see what was out there.

Z- (noticed some tulips that are full bloom at the house behind ours)....Look Daddy, flowers!

Me- Yeah, they're pretty aren't they?

Z- Yeah, pretty flowers! I wanna eat them!!!

Me- What?

Z- I wanna eat them....flowers!

Me - Well, there are some flowers you can eat, but I don't think those flowers are the kind you can eat. Besides we can't eat those flowers because they are not ours. Our neighbors would be sad if we ate their flowers. (I know, your thinking way to logical for a two year old, but you don't know Z)

Z- Okay, daddy. Trees!!!!

Me- Yeah, there are trees out there too, huh?

Z- They are coming out. (referring to the leaves coming out.)

Me- Yeah, the leaves are out now aren't they.

Z- I wann bite it, tree!!!

Me - What?

Z- I wanna bite it, tree! That one.....I wanna bite it!!!!

Me- I don't know if it is a good idea to bite the tree, Z.

Z - I wanna bite it! I wanna eat it, tree!

Me- I think the tree would be sad if you bit it....why do you want to bite the tree?

Z - I wanna bite it, tree!!!!!!!! (Even more determined)

At this point all logic, manipulation, distraction could not get Zaila off the topic of biting the tree. So, we put her to bed. So fun to have that time with her this week.

"I wanna hold it"

So again, I have to say that I absolutely love being the dad of a two year old (yes, there are times, I would take this statement back in a heart beat, but then things like the following happen to snap me back to reality).

Conversation in the car last night....

Zaila - Mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy......

Mesha- Yes Zaila....Zaila.... Look at me Zaila, I am answering you (at which point Zaila actually notices that Mom is now paying attention to her) Can you say excuse me mommy, your dad and I were talking?

Zaila - Excusy me mommy!

Mesha - Yes Zaila

Zaila - I wanna hold it....I wanna hold it.....I wanna hold it......

Mesha - What do you want to hold?

Zaila - I wanna hold it, moon!

Mesha - Oh, wow, I bet you do want to hold the moon, but it is way to for up in the sky for you to reach it.

Zaila - (Makes noises as though she is trying her hardest to reach the moon)

Mesha- Do you know who goes to the moon and can touch it? Astronauts! They fly all the way up there and touch the moon.

Zaila- I wanna fly and hold it, moon! (Makes reaching noises again!)

I love the way her mind is so innocent and desires so pure. She sees the moon as this small ball like thing she could hold if she just could reach it. Of course, when you can't reach something, you tell mom and dad and they get it for you to hold! Just a fun time in the car on the way back from Small Group!